Caity Weaver on Muck Rack

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Senior Writer — Gawker
As seen in:  Gawker

Writer at Gawker. Cofounder of (Tumblr's premier Taylor Swift Fragrance Review tumblr). Email your ghost stories to caity[at]gawker.

What's the Worst Thing Your Sweet Grandma Will Make You Eat this Year? — Grandmothers truly are angels among us: cast out of heaven by God for unspecified crimes, forced to be on their best behavior at all times so that when He calls them back to Paradise to reevaluate the terms of their exile, they can be readmitted without issue, and forget all about their difficult lives on earth.

Ariana Grande’s New Song Is About Being Seduced by Santa and Fucking Him — What follows is a lyrical analysis of this year's sexiest Christmas hymn. Sixty years ago, the world was shocked by Eartha Kitt's efforts to extort gifts from Santa Claus using the faint promise of sex, as detailed in her iconic erotic Christmas carol "Santa Baby."

Classy Tennessee Frat Bros Drink Wine Now (With Their Butts. They're Butt Chugging the Wine.) — The University of Tennessee chapter of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity has just been suspended after its members began embracing the Real Housewives of New York City lifestyle a little too enthusiastically. A 20-year-old brother ended up in the hospital early Saturday morning with severe alcohol poisoning, after having wine squirted up his rectum in a practice known as " butt chugging."

Have a Restful Weekend! — Hey there, Upper East Siders. Gawker here. Before you traipse off to slumber or a sex club tonight, please take a moment to appreciate this photo, submitted by tipster @AnimalFarmNYC, which allegedly depicts former NYU student and successful author Dan Humphrey "sleeping and/or meditating" at a Manhattan coffee shop earlier this evening.

Beyoncé's Surprise New "7/11" Video Is A Sexy Dork Orgy — Like the God of the Old Testament, Beyoncé's terrifying wrath is matched in severity only by her overwhelming creative prowess. That is why on Friday night she released a video for 7/11, a track from her upcoming album that was released on Friday morning.

The Best Restaurant in New York Is: The 9/11 Memorial & Museum — Caity: The twin reflecting pools at the National September 11th Memorial are just what memorials should be: vast, and arresting, and humbling, and sad. The museum is very expensive. Rich: I was really surprised how moved I felt looking at the North pool, which is the one I came upon first.

Solange's Wedding Featured Something Borrowed, Something Blue, HIVES — Normally Michelle Williams is the person in Beyoncé's sphere who is regarded with the most pity. Over the weekend, however, that distinction went to Solange Knowles, whom God would not allow to be more beautiful than her sister, even on her wedding day.

Pop Quiz: Can You Tell The Olsen Twins Apart? — Can you tell the Olsen twins apart? Mary-Kate right, Ashley left. Mary-Kate left, Ashley right. Mary-Kate right, Ashley left. Mary-Kate left, Ashley right. Mary-Kate right, Ashley left. Mary-Kate right, Anna Wintour further right, Ashley left. Mary-Kate left, Ashley right. Can you tell the Olsen twins apart? Sure you can.

New Taylor Swift Video Asks: What If Beyoncé Were White And Insane? — According to director Joseph Kahn, for a few hours on the morning of November 10th, the yoohoos at Yahoo prematurely uploaded the unpremiered video for Taylor Swift's new single "Blank Space." While the file was pulled shortly thereafter, fan-uploaded versions continue to surface.

Broken Beyoncé Malfunctions; Warranty Invalid Due to User Error — Last night, rapper Jay Z and his lifelike wife Beyoncé attended a basketball game in Brooklyn, where they watched the Nets thrash the visiting Oklahoma City Thunder, 116 to 85. Or, anyway, that's what was happening in front of them. God only knows what Beyoncé was seeing.
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Nov 26, 2014

Ariana Grande lyrics vid proves Xmas jam is abt sex w/gay brother… Feel FOOLISH. Retract this:…

Nov 26, 2014

I'm taking a poll of who has dead grandparents. Please respond to my poll:…

Nov 26, 2014

I listened to the song about Ariana Grande fucking Santa Claus on a 3 hr loop while on the train home and wrote this:…

Nov 26, 2014

Cup of Jo dot blogspot got me like: What is the perfect gift for my son Toby for Christmas??

Nov 26, 2014

Cup of Jo dot blogspot got me like: Should I buy a $41 gold crayon for my face??

Nov 25, 2014

So impressed by everyone for memorizing our phone numbers. So many numerals in no particular order and we have all memorized them! #RainMan

Nov 25, 2014

@johnjcook Heard your kid was on NBC. Can I get more details? Chicago Fire walk-on role is the rumor I'm hearing.

Nov 25, 2014

RT @leahfinnegan: free baby name suggestion: Nutmeg. Can call baby Nut or Meg. Perfect if u hate name Megan. credit @caityweaver

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