Caity Weaver on Muck Rack

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Senior Writer — Gawker
As seen in:  Gawker

Writer at Gawker. Cofounder of (Tumblr's premier Taylor Swift Fragrance Review tumblr). Email your ghost stories to caity[at]gawker.

Wait-Has Beyoncé Been Secretly Pregnant THIS WHOLE TIME? — Beyoncé has been wearing some truly enormous clothes lately. This fact, taken on its own, doesn't reveal much: Wearing another person's giant clothing keeps Beyoncé' humble; Beyoncé is wealthy and can afford extra fabric.

King and Queen Make Time to Greet Unemployed Fan, Her Balding Husband — Two British tourists received the thrill of a lifetime Monday night when they were allowed to interrupt Beyoncé and Jay Z's private conversation as the Carters took in a basketball game in Brooklyn. What did the two couples talk about when they met one another?

Do You Have 8 Seconds to Watch This Video of an Owl Swimming? YES — No longer content to rule the sky, the owl has extended its terrible dominion into another element of the wondrous universe: Earth's hydrosphere. Self-described "birder at heart" Steve Spitzer told Chicago's WGN-TV he shot footage of this great horned owl swimming in Lake Michigan after it suffered an attack by two peregrine falcons.

Crackers Now, Crackers Tomorrow, Crackers Forever, Vows Campbell — These are treacherous times to be a cracker. From the moment the first great ship teeming with British crackers made landfall on America's rocky coastline, crackers have played a crucial role in shaping American culture. Crackers were famously present at the first Thanksgiving, held in Plymouth in 1621.

What's the Worst Thing Your Sweet Grandma Will Make You Eat this Year? — Grandmothers truly are angels among us: cast out of heaven by God for unspecified crimes, forced to be on their best behavior at all times so that when He calls them back to Paradise to reevaluate the terms of their exile, they can be readmitted without issue, and forget all about their difficult lives on earth.

Ariana Grande’s New Song Is About Being Seduced by Santa and Fucking Him — What follows is a lyrical analysis of this year's sexiest Christmas hymn. Sixty years ago, the world was shocked by Eartha Kitt's efforts to extort gifts from Santa Claus using the faint promise of sex, as detailed in her iconic erotic Christmas carol "Santa Baby."

Classy Tennessee Frat Bros Drink Wine Now (With Their Butts. They're Butt Chugging the Wine.) — The University of Tennessee chapter of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity has just been suspended after its members began embracing the Real Housewives of New York City lifestyle a little too enthusiastically. A 20-year-old brother ended up in the hospital early Saturday morning with severe alcohol poisoning, after having wine squirted up his rectum in a practice known as " butt chugging."

Have a Restful Weekend! — Hey there, Upper East Siders. Gawker here. Before you traipse off to slumber or a sex club tonight, please take a moment to appreciate this photo, submitted by tipster @AnimalFarmNYC, which allegedly depicts former NYU student and successful author Dan Humphrey "sleeping and/or meditating" at a Manhattan coffee shop earlier this evening.

Beyoncé's Surprise New "7/11" Video Is A Sexy Dork Orgy — Like the God of the Old Testament, Beyoncé's terrifying wrath is matched in severity only by her overwhelming creative prowess. That is why on Friday night she released a video for 7/11, a track from her upcoming album that was released on Friday morning.

The Best Restaurant in New York Is: The 9/11 Memorial & Museum — Caity: The twin reflecting pools at the National September 11th Memorial are just what memorials should be: vast, and arresting, and humbling, and sad. The museum is very expensive. Rich: I was really surprised how moved I felt looking at the North pool, which is the one I came upon first.
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Dec 22, 2014

@boomerdavis The only things I do on my laptop are write blog posts and stream HBO's "Getting On" -- Does this change your answer?

Dec 22, 2014

Ghost spilled a glass of H2O on my laptop so im gonna buy this (??) unless u can convince me not 2 in the next 10mins…

Dec 22, 2014

@allierileyjones @marieclaire @msleamichele What is the level they were on previously and what is the new level

Dec 22, 2014

Dear family: It has recently come 2 my attention that u may believe me 2 B ugly, as I make NO effort when I go home. However, I am a dime...

Dec 19, 2014

Just in time for Christmas, @tcberman emerges from his hovel to yell nonsense at the sky:…

Dec 19, 2014

@taffyakner If I could change anything, I would not have eaten frog legs at dinner. Everything else I would leave unchanged.

Dec 19, 2014

@johnjcook i will block your whole family on twitter i will block everyone u know i will register accounts for your kids and then block them

Dec 19, 2014

This @hamiltonnolan post is a late entry into the "Best Posts of 2014" list I'm making in my head & sharing w/no one…

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