Grace Dent on Muck Rack

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represented by Curtis Brown
Television Writer — Independent

Supa G Force

School-run parents: be careful - very careful - what you wish for — Plans by the schools minister, Nick Gibb, to simplify the school run by making school places mandatory for siblings of current pupils seems eminently sensible to me. Not just sensible, in fact, merciful. I have observed over the past two decades the politics and pressures surrounding ferrying offspring to and from the school gate.

Did I tell you about my labrador? A perilous mix of shameless and not quite the full shilling — Avid followers of this column - as well as people in recuperation units with limited reading material - may have noted that I am the owner of a chocolate labrador, Betty. Real-life acquaintances are also starkly aware that, like most dog people, I arrive at social gatherings smelling vaguely of liver sausage snackadoodles and have a biodegradable poo bag trailing out of my coat pocket.
Aug 29, 2015

It could also be called: My one woman fight vs the dog to own a roll of toilet paper.…

Aug 29, 2015

RT @gracedent: It could also be called: My one woman fight vs the dog to own a roll of toilet paper.…

One Direction split: All boybands must die - it's the only way their fans can grow up — It's tempting to chuckle at One Direction's inconsolable fans throwing themselves on the pop pyre over news of the band's forthcoming "hiatus". Not an official split, I hasten to add. More a 12-month break with no plans to tour their next album, which to my ageing ears sounds like, "We are sick of the sight of each other.

Bring me my beau with a Union Jack waistcoat - I need a ticket for the Last Night of the Proms — I've been to the Proms at the Royal Albert Hall five times so far this season. Not a sentence I thought I'd ever type, but the "finding solace in classical music stage" happens to many ex-ravers, usually after the point when The Archers becomes compelling and just before one finds oneself lugging a 10-litre bag of mutipurpose compost into the house shouting, "Why buy herbs, indeed?
Aug 23, 2015

RT @IndyMagazine: .@gracedent would like a ticket to the last night of the Proms. And she ain't afraid to write a column about it:…

Grace Dent reviews Hotel Chantelle — Fans of frittering large amounts of time online may have noticed a recent spirited Twitter campaign called 'We Want Plates'. As a woman who has been served my starter suspended from a washing line twice in the past month - jalapeño peppers and then ibérico jamón - I cheer for these Twitter crusaders.

Oh so handy, oh so ethically awry - I sold my soul to Amazon long ago — It will be news to precisely zero loyal subscribers to Amazon Prime that their retail habit is not 100 per cent ethical - and this was before recent reports of Amazon Fulfilment Site workers weeping at their desks while they stacked up profits in order to fund Jeremy Clarkson's latest diesel-centred, dick-swinging TV jaunt.

Show me an aerosol-toting, graffiti-daubing hipster and I'll show you my nunchucks — In my home turf of east London right now, the hip things are beginning to eat each other. I'm sure this is gratifying news for all non-London readers. It's essentially around the Shoreditch area, where new-wave mudslinging has broken out over who exactly is ruining the wonderful status quo with their evil sandwich chain outlet, or novelty café selling only cereal.
Aug 15, 2015

The Hipster Civil War and some thoughts on shit graffiti. My Saturday column:…

Grace Dent reviews Taberna do Mercado: food so repellent I thought the staff made it up as a prank — The moment I entered Taberna do Mercado in Old Spitalfields Market, I suspected, from looking at the expressions of the other diners, that I was in for a slightly stiff ride. One can tell a great deal about the meal ahead simply by gauging the atmosphere at other tables.

Here’s a lesson in my menstrual cycle, Donald Trump - you need it — A positive slant - and I'm really trying here - on Donald Trump's latest menstrual gaffe is that here is a man presenting himself for power bearing his abundant flaws without shame. There are no anodyne political soundbites, no watery words crafted for maximum reach and minimum offence and no rebrand on the globally famous shtick: it's big hair, big gob and big ambition.
Aug 10, 2015

Donald Trump and The Case Of The Sandy Vagina. A column by me for @indyvoices…

Aug 10, 2015

RT @gracedent: Donald Trump and The Case Of The Sandy Vagina. A column by me for @indyvoices…

Show 4 more tweets from Simon Usborne, Helen Pidd and others...

Grace Dent reviews Sackville's: 'obscene - but sort of London must-do' — Obscene isn't a word many restaurateurs hope to see used in conjunction with their new offering, but in the case of Sackville's - of Sackville Street, W1 - I trust they'll understand. They might even take it as a badge of honour.
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Sep 03, 2015

@nixonm_2000 I love this! (cuts and pastes for when hangover is very bad and deadline approaching) x

Sep 03, 2015

@blondebonce Who can resist FRESHLY BAKED MUFFINS?? JUSTICE FOR KIKI!!

Sep 02, 2015

@PGregg I’m getting a stress rash thinking about this x

Sep 02, 2015

@paudieaudi Good morning! You were every kind to take part in my evening. thank you! gx

Sep 02, 2015

@TJ_Hewitt It is still unclear to me why you are single. Something in WRONG with the Apps. Thank you for coming along! Gx

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