Before you criticise Mick Jagger for dating a 28-year-old woman, try getting old — Due to bloody feminism and my tendency to harp on about it, I have completely snookered myself with regards to Mick Jagger's love life. How indeed can I make light-hearted yet snarky comments about Jagger, 71, and his rumoured new squeeze Alicia Rountree, 28, when 56-year old Madonna's age-defying love life with a string of 25-year-old dancers fills me with glee.

If teenage girls want to join Isis in the face of all its atrocities, then they should leave and never return — It's Twitter's fault, reportedly. Twitter helped these girls connect with other gleeful fans of snuff-video beheading, cage-burning and the hobbysport of hurling gay men to their deaths from towers. Let's blame Twitter.

Grace Dent on TV: Catastrophe is one of the funniest British comedies in years — It is terrifically easy to have big plans to write a brilliant sitcom. There are people all over Britain - right this moment - bashing out awful pilots. Comedy they hope will be emblematic of a generation, but will transpire to be a massive ball-ache to make funny, and at very best will be savaged by TV execs with red pens and made into something safely unappealing.

Ignore the BBC-bashing pillocks: The Casual Vacancy is as entertaining as it is realistic — Sitting in the sleepy Sunday night BBC1 slot, typically reserved for unchallenging, porridgey drama, here was a complex, relevant look at modern-day British rural life. Or, alternatively - if you're a certain sort of boggle-eyed, wilfully disingenuous pillock - The Casual Vacancy is the author JK Rowling and the screenwriter Sarah Phelps' bare-faced attempt to destroy the Tories and the middle classes, while squandering your hard-earned licence fee.

Grace Dent on TV: Happy 30th Birthday EastEnders, here's to never being boring — Accepted wisdom says that while Coronation Street does humour, EastEnders - celebrating its 30th anniversary this week - is all about misery. It's just people shouting, they say. Thirty long years of shouting in rooms where the net curtains need a boil wash.

Grace Dent reviews Brooklyn Bowl — As I live but a few jumps up the Jubilee Line from The O2 at North Greenwich, I'm not the sort to quibble about its middle-of-nowhere inaccessibility. I'm sure it feels, if you're from Tulse Hill, like a remote, far-off land, when 20,000 people in merch-stall cowboy hats, drunk on Smirnoff Ice, are stampeding towards the southbound platform escalator at 11pm.

Go Madge! Make an ass of yourself — London - I may be the only person in the world fully supportive of Madonna's sexy bare-bottomed matador outfit on the Grammys red carpet. The sight of a 56-year-old woman, sans-trousers, boobs out, clad in a veiled Givenchy bull-fighter costume was too much for many narrow-minded sorts.

Internet trolls are infuriating and depressing but giving them asbos is not the answer — As a frequent internet user, I find it initially difficult not to be cheered by MPs' vows to usher in internet "asbos". When I call myself a frequent internet user, I actually mean continuous. Once a proud 1990s early adopter of all things web, nowadays I'm just another weary, wifi-dependent Twittering, Googling, tech-junkie.

Grace Dent on TV: Inside the Commons glorifies a yesteryear all-boys boarding school — The opening slice of Michael Cockerell's new documentary series was the equivalent of hanging a large, grimly unamusing sign reading "You Don't Have to Be Mad to Work Here, But It Helps', on the Houses of Parliament. A working day so steeped in ancient tradition - translation: bloody ridiculous, time-wasting and mollycoddling tradition - can only ever lure a certain type of human.

Grace Dent reviews Clos Maggiore — The most romantic thing to do on Valentine's Day is, of course, stay in bed all night, iPhones switched to flight mode, whispering, swigging champagne from the bottle and rutting. Anything else is amateur hour.
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Feb 25, 2015

hope Brandon Block has got his Brits ticket sorted.

Feb 25, 2015

@JNRaeside @MarinaOLoughlin ‘oh, it’s ok waiter, there’s my friends over…um, under there'

Feb 25, 2015

@JamesRamsden_ tsk, all kale should be eaten raw, so it feels as pleasant as an algebra exam.

Feb 25, 2015

@JNRaeside @MarinaOLoughlin People like you are great for holding the table while we all dawdle though. thanks.

Feb 25, 2015

@mrgarethbrooks The Archers on r4 is quite soothing. that’s all I’m saying.

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