Eats, writes about it. Ponces about on telly. Has big hair.

Jay Rayner reviews Abracadabra, 91 Jermyn Street, London SW1 — Abracadabra 91 Jermyn Street, London SW1 (020 7930 3222) Meal for two, including wine and service, £100 Abracadabra isn't so much a restaurant as a random sequence of events. I could describe it as bad - and believe me, the food is, in a very special way - but that really doesn't do the experience justice.

Jay Rayner: Gospel of greed | Society | The Guardian — Last summer, at the county show held every year in Lambeth's Brockwell Park, I made a donation to the Universal Church of the Kingdom of God. As a lifelong and devout atheist, this wasn't my intention, but I think I can be forgiven.

Adam Handling at Caxton: restaurant review — Adam Handling at Caxton, 2 Caxton Street, London SW1 (0800 652 1498). Meal for two, including drinks and service: £140 Adam Handling has talent. He has talent the way Ukip has nutters. Yup. He has that much talent. The first time I tried his food it wasn't so much good cooking as a place of safety.

From foams to foraging, food trends are as silly - and enjoyable - as any other fashion — Recently a woman asked me, with a squeaky roll of her eye balls, what I thought about "all those foams and sauce smears" she saw on MasterChef. Around the same time I started receiving requests for my food predictions for 2015. Would it be Korean BBQ or pimped British motorway services snacks or more of that raw food bollocks?

Malik’s Tandoori: restaurant review — High Street, Cookham, Berkshire (01628 520085). Meal for two, including drinks: £70-90 It was when they started pumping out the Vaughan Williams at us, a waft of the English pastoral over the poppadoms, that it got really odd. Then again, why not? Malik's is in Cookham, a buffed and polished town with a BTEC in Englishness.

The Nag’s Head: restaurant review — Haughton, Cheshire (01829 260 265). Meal for two, including wine and service: £70 All restaurant meals come with a cost. At the Nag's Head in Haughton, Cheshire, I fear that cost may weigh too heavily upon the staff. There are real health and safety issues, in this case surrounding the matter of plating.

Estela: restaurant review — 47 East Houston Street, New York (001 212 219 7693). Meal for two, including drinks and service: £130 A good life is all about the small victories. After dinner at Estela in New York, for example, I can celebrate the fact that I achieved something that eluded the most powerful man in the western world.

Porky’s: restaurant review — 18 Chalk Farm Road, London NW1 (020 7428 0998). Meal for two, including drinks and service: £60 If ever you were looking for a marker of a country's economic development you could do worse than study the commodities the government regards as of vital importance.

Big supermarkets may be dying, but they leave a plague on the landscape — I have to admit, the Jenkins household now shops online. On Saturday morning the doorbell rings, and there stands a young man with the weekly supplies in neat recyclable bags. He has replaced the weekly trudge to the supermarket. Something may be lost, but a deal of time and shoe leather is saved.

In the kitchen, I got the power — It's just as I'm about to start seasoning the rib of beef, massaging it with mustard powder, salt and lust like it were the thigh of an eager lover, that the question occurs to me. It's one of those blunt, heavy-browed questions that forces you to stop what you are doing, palms forward over the meat.
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Dec 20, 2014

@munitionsfamily the wines are essentially just for show. We barely touch them, unless lousy cooking drives us to drink. So no sommelier

Dec 20, 2014

Next Kitchen Cabinet is on @BBCr4today at 10.30. We're in Salisbury Talking christmas dishes and food to survive Armageddon. Same thing?

Dec 18, 2014

RT @archiebland: Peak deconstructing dessert. Eton mess. I am so angry about this.

Dec 18, 2014

RT @SomethinElse: The Kitchen Cabinet audience: "@darbydorras has such joyful enthusiasm that he should be available on the NHS as a cure for depression."

Dec 18, 2014

Got anything planned for mid-Jan? Course not. Buy tkts for my quartet @CrazyCoqs and have somat to look forward to…

Dec 17, 2014

@timhayward oh dear. Your colleagues sending concern and love, while simultaneously interrogating what they've eaten this eve.

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