Eats, writes about it. Ponces about on telly. Has big hair.

Porky’s: restaurant review — 18 Chalk Farm Road, London NW1 (020 7428 0998). Meal for two, including drinks and service: £60 If ever you were looking for a marker of a country's economic development you could do worse than study the commodities the government regards as of vital importance.

Big supermarkets may be dying, but they leave a plague on the landscape — I have to admit, the Jenkins household now shops online. On Saturday morning the doorbell rings, and there stands a young man with the weekly supplies in neat recyclable bags. He has replaced the weekly trudge to the supermarket. Something may be lost, but a deal of time and shoe leather is saved.

In the kitchen, I got the power — It's just as I'm about to start seasoning the rib of beef, massaging it with mustard powder, salt and lust like it were the thigh of an eager lover, that the question occurs to me. It's one of those blunt, heavy-browed questions that forces you to stop what you are doing, palms forward over the meat.

Le Coq: restaurant review — 292-294 St Paul's Road, London N1 (020 7359 5055). Meal for two, with drinks and service, £80 Step for a moment into my bedroom. Don't worry. It's safe. I merely want you to consider my bedside table and, in particular, the small square digital clock which sits upon it, pulsing out the time in diodes the colour of cheap jade.

London’s best new ramen places: restaurant reviews — Shoryu Ramen 3 Denman St, London W1 (no booking). Meal for two £30. Sasuke 32 Great Windmill Street, London W1 (no booking). Meal for two £40. Ippudo London Central Saint Giles, London WC2 (no booking). Meal for two £30-£90.

Knives out: why we love reading cruel restaurant reviews — Where restaurant criticism is concerned it is hate that springs eternal. Sure, people may enjoy restaurant reviews in general, but what they really love are the takedowns.

Twenty Ways To Have a Lousy Night Out (Penguin Shorts/Specials) eBook: Jay Rayner: Kindle Store — I have been a restaurant critic for over a decade, written reviews of well over 700 establishments, and if there is one thing I have learnt it is that people like reviews of bad restaurants. No, scratch that. They adore them, feast upon them like starving vultures who have spotted fly-blown carrion out in the bush.They claim otherwise, of course.

Jay Rayner reviews Buddha Bar, London — Buddha Bar8 Victoria Embankment, London WC2020 3371 7777Meal for two, including wine and service £175 One of the curiosities of this week's restaurant - along with 'How do they live with themselves?' and 'Why isn't there a baying mob outside with pitchforks and burning torches?'

Brasserie Gustave: restaurant review — 4 Sydney Street, London SW3 (020 7352 1712). Meal for two, with drinks and service: £140 Gosh but coming up with ideas for a new restaurant must be exhausting: all that hunting around for cracks in the zeitgeist; all that salami slicing of trends until you have found a plot of gastronomic real estate you can call your own.

OFM awards 2014 best cheap eats: Silk Road — he family behind the winner of our Best Cheap Eats award, voted for by OFM readers, admit they had no idea whether what they wanted to do would work. After all, no one else in London was serving the punchy food of Xinjiang province in China.
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Nov 26, 2014

@kungfu1027 acqua di Parma. But really, there's no need, even if christmas looms...

Nov 26, 2014

@hannahgoldfield @NewYorker nice piece and accurately reported, which is always pleasing. Thank you

Nov 25, 2014

RT @JonnyGeller: David Schneider's brilliant Twitter map must be on on every student of Twitter's wall

Nov 25, 2014

@NewYorker Catskills comedian? I'll take that. Is it in print as well as online?

Nov 25, 2014

The @NewYorker reviews my dining hell show in Brooklyn. I'm like a 1960s Catskills comedian, they say. I'll take that…

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