Eats, writes about it. Ponces about on telly. Has big hair.

Harry’s Shack: restaurant review — 118 Strand Road, Portstewart, Northern Ireland (028 7083 1783). Meal for two, including drinks and service: £50 Last December, Harry's Shack, at Portstewart on Northern Ireland's north coast, issued a stark warning via Facebook. "It is simply not safe to come near us," it said. "Do not even attempt it."

The worst run place in Britain? — It was, all too appropriately, a march to absolutely nowhere. The 500 Hackney residents and council workers, who joined last Monday's demonstration against proposed emergency cuts to council services, trudged through the wind and the rain on a long, circuitous route that took them only from Hackney Town Hall all the way back to Hackney Town Hall.

Pub Landlord Al Murray on his election strategy: ‘I could drink Nigel Farage and William Hague under the table’ — If you get to Westminster, which of your fellow MPs would you want on a pub quiz team? Jonathan Freedland, executive editor, opinion Tricky. Pub quiz teams require an all-round knowledge of the outside world, so putting a team of MPs together won't be easy.

The Green Room: restaurant review — 101 Upper Ground, London SE1 (020 7452 3630). Meal for two: £60 The Green Room, across the road from the back of the National Theatre, is a great opportunity currently being squandered. It is, by any measure, an intriguing venture.

My cooking is a mess - and tastes better for it — Recently I made a dreadful mess in the kitchen. It was delicious. I was looking for something to kick off a dinner party, something around which conversation could gather, and was musing on the Jewish Ashkenazi staple of egg and onion: crushed up cooled boiled eggs with slow-cooked, then cooled fried onions.

Jago: restaurant review — 68-80 Hanbury Street, London E1 (020 3818 3241). Meal for two, including drinks and service: £80 A decade or two back a friend of a friend who, like me, is Jewish, bought a warehouse apartment on Brick Lane in London's Shoreditch.

John Doe: restaurant review — 46 Golborne Road, London W10 (020 8969 3280). Meal for two, including wine and service: £90 Meet Bertha. I like her, even though she made me smell. Or to be more exact, even though she made me smell more than usual.

Dorchester Grill: restaurant review — Dorchester Hotel, Park Lane, London W1 (020 7317 6531). Meal for two, including drinks and service: £220 Of all the dirty food acts I have committed - that dribbling sausage I ate from the late-night cart in Leicester Square, a solo dinner at Frankie and Bennys', a Greggs pasty which I quietly enjoyed - this feels like the very worst.

My Sichuan: restaurant review — The Old School, Gloucester Green, Oxford (01865 236 899). Meal for two: £50-80 Some dishes don't so much speak to you as holler. They make a case for themselves just by sitting there being brown and crisp and hyper-spiced and brazen. So it is with the lamb ribs with cumin at My Sichuan in Oxford.

Jay Rayner reviews Abracadabra, 91 Jermyn Street, London SW1 — Abracadabra 91 Jermyn Street, London SW1 (020 7930 3222) Meal for two, including wine and service, £100 Abracadabra isn't so much a restaurant as a random sequence of events. I could describe it as bad - and believe me, the food is, in a very special way - but that really doesn't do the experience justice.
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Jan 30, 2015

RT @TheFoodChain: We often have projects for volunteer graphic designers. Please get in touch if you're able to lend a hand!…

Jan 30, 2015

' Despite having an arse the size of Yorkshire, and a surfeit of hair, he still managed to type things.' #myozobituary

Jan 30, 2015

@thomasblythe that was a control question to check you were sane. And clearly you are.

Jan 30, 2015

@heawood oh THAT day. It took weeks to get the damp out of the curtains.

Jan 30, 2015

@heawood Sometimes I think a bit of context for a tweet would be good. And then I think, no, just take it at face value.

Jan 30, 2015

In other news the v handsome @guardian redesign has resulted in a v accessible list of all my restaurant reviews…

Jan 30, 2015

That's just one of literally dozens of tweets like that which keep popping up even now over four years later. A social media haunting...

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