Guardian columnist, writes books, comes late to technology.

Whatever happened to the battleaxes? — 'She's no better than she should be." "If we had some ham we could have ham and eggs, but we've no eggs." "Think on." These were the phrases I grew up on. They were delivered by zaftig grandmothers, aunts, female friends of aunts and grandmothers, neighbours, teachers and any other woman you came across who was old enough to have earned the right to non-sequitur you into submission.
Sep 02, 2015

New life goal inspired by this Lucy Mangan piece. Let's all aim to attain Battleaxe status…

Sep 03, 2015

Column in today's @guardian - what happened to the Great British Battleaxe…

Ashley Madison? Sign me up! — Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public, H L Mencken famously said. It looks like you can double the truth of that the moment penises get involved.

Holidays from hell: ‘Jamais again, I swore. Jamais again’ — We were an hour into the flight from Gatwick to Malaga when it happened. Turbulence of the kind that makes the seatbelt signs flash, overhead lockers judder, cabin crew strap in, and passengers exchange grimaces. There were five of us - my sister and I plus three girlfriends, bound for a week on the Costa Tropicale.
Aug 23, 2015

Three people projectile-vomiting in a caravan. Worst holiday ever.…

Aug 24, 2015

Contains illustration of me looking like the guy from Garfield and puking out a fishbone ...

Show 3 more tweets from Chitra Ramaswamy, Chitra Ramaswamy and others...

Katie Price in therapy review - she gave nothing away but a few tears of her won choosing — "Everyone thinks they know everything about me," says Katie Price, former glamour model, tabloid staple, star of 20 reality shows about her life and author(ish) of five volumes of autobiography by the age of 35. "But actually, they don't."

Britain’s Spending Secrets review: the nation’s approaches to money — There is an honesty to any endeavour that involves Anne Robinson, and it was apparent early on in last night's look at the different attitudes we have towards the acquiring, saving and disbursing of money, in Britain's Spending Secrets (BBC1), when she referred to her first interviewee as "the perfect punchbag."
Aug 20, 2015

One thing annoys me about this review: the Stephens clearly got a Tesco delivery, not Ocado…

Aug 20, 2015

My @guardiang2 review of last night's Britain's Spending Secrets, and Horizon -…

Aug 20, 2015

I was glued to Britain's Spending Secrets last night. When Anne Robinson went through the bins behind Waitrose...…

The death of the nightclub will put an end to murder on the dancefloor — In possibly the first confirmation ever that though the arc of history is long it does indeed bend towards justice, news arrives that the nightclub, site of one's most miserable teenage experiences, is dead. Nearly. According to the Association of Licensed Multiple Retailers the number of loud, overpriced, sticky-floored, filthy hellscapes has fallen by almost half - from 3,144 10 years ago to 1,733 now.
Aug 12, 2015

For those who hate nightclubs with a passion, @lucymangan welcomes an end to murder on the dancefloor

Aug 12, 2015

My Notebook column in today's @guardian, on the death of the nightclub and medical confidence…

Aug 12, 2015

The death of the nightclub will put an end to murder on the dancefloor | Lucy Mangan

Avoiding risk is parents' main job. Small wonder that we sometimes go a little too far. — In a world too often hedged around with proliferating health and safety legislation to which no-one seems inclined to take the secateurs of reason, a Gryllsian approach to life can seem like a welcome restoration of sanity. Especially when you consider that, according to a recent survey, our children have the least freedom of any in Europe.

Lucy Mangan: So many books and nothing to read — I have more than 2,000 books in this house and nothing to read. What's going on? I don my white coat, stethoscope and - yes, why not?

When a brothel spills over into your mother’s garden — The brothel next door to my parents' house has finally shut up knocking-shop. It's been there for six or seven years. The first we knew of it was when half a dozen men came hurtling over the row of garages at the end of the garden and my mother, running, as ever, counter to what others would consider natural instinct, hurtled with equal vigour towards them to make sure they didn't damage the roof.

Lucy Mangan on last night's TV — I wonder what Ringo ever did to upset Cilla Black? In Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll: The 60s Revealed (Five), a compilation of interviews with the stars of 1968 by Bernard Braden and never before shown, interspersed with comments from the same stars 40 years on, she put the boot in twice.
Aug 02, 2015

My favourite thing about Cilla Black is the quote about the Bentley in the Braden i/views shown a few years ago:…

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Sep 03, 2015

RT @BBCEngland: CCTV appeal to find man suspected of sexually assaulting seven-year-old boy on a bus in Dorset

Sep 03, 2015

Just been shopping on the Help Calais and Greece wish list set up by @hotpatooties -… Pls RT (&buy!) Truck leaves 17/9

Sep 03, 2015

@salihughes @hotpatooties Sorry, just seen I didn't read your first tweet properly xx

Sep 03, 2015

@salihughes @hotpatooties It is definitely totally legit and official and everything?

Sep 03, 2015

@piersmorgan It's for the Guardian. The subs will undoubtedly catch it.

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