Guardian columnist

Prince declares the internet dead

theguardian.com — Finally, in case you didn't hear, there is sad news of the internet, which has been declared "completely over" by Prince. If you've the strength to make a quip about The Computer Network System Formerly Known As The World Wide Web, then do insert it here, but know either way that the Sign O' the Times legend has registered its death.

Great Ormond Street deaths caused by stem cell lab failures, inquest told

theguardian.com — Four children have died after failings in how stem cells used in life-saving operations were frozen at Great Ormond Street hospital, it emerged this week. The four, who were between one and 12 years old, were among eight children with cancer whose bone marrow transplants did not work as a result of problems with the freezing process.

What this snobbish disdain for People Like Them says about people like us

theguardian.com — I don't want to spoil any surprises ITV might have in the offing, but how about Emily Thornberry for I'm A Celebrity?

Fifa ethics report shows war on Blatter is as futile as ‘war on terror’

theguardian.com — And so, once more, to undead governing body Fifa, which increasingly feels like some arcane abuse of the global banking system as subject matter for a column. You know it's important, you know it's wrong ... but you just can't be arsed reading another word about it.

Myleene Klass and her indecent proposals

theguardian.com — Myleene Klass will be appearing at the Baby Show at London's Earls Court on 22 October, and her autumn/winter collection of baby clothing is available instore now. We're getting that out of the way at once, because - and you won't believe the coincidence - TV's Myleene Klass has broken another 12-second silence to offer up some unsolicited yet eye-catching news about herself.

Myleene Klass and the pope's loo roll - an update

theguardian.com — Perplexing developments. A fortnight ago, we showcased TV presenter Myleene Klass's latest pitch for headlines - her claim to have stolen loo roll from the pope's residence while filming there some years ago. Now, Myleene's publicity operation is one of the hardest-working in showbiz.

Flushing away Myleene Klass's claims

theguardian.com — Lost in Showbiz shrieked with delight this week on discovering it had made its debut on the Daily Mirror's 3am page. And we shall come to the correspondence with Ms Myleene Klass that precipitated that honour shortly. But for now, the Mirror item, in which I am amusingly styled as "gobby gossip hound Marina Hyde".

Shutting our shores is not the way to silence misogyny or avert terrorism

theguardian.com — Has immigration control become the answer to everything? For David Cameron, it is the answer to how to deal with British jihadists who wish to return to the UK. And for an internet campaign, it is the answer to dealing with the odious pick-up artist and "guru" Julien Blanc.

Russell Brand’s revolution - is it too late to ask for a manifesto recap?

theguardian.com — You know, I don't think I'm ever going to get over having been on leave during the launch of Russell Brand's revolution. No matter how assiduously I try to read back about how it happened, it just feels like I'm never quite going to catch up.

What happened to Bono’s luggage after it fell out of a plane?

theguardian.com — Hands down, this column's favourite story of yesterday featured Bono's plane dropping things on Germany. I know what you're thinking: not content with bombing people's iTunes with the mandatory download of U2's new album, he's now actually trying to take Berlin. But on closer investigation, the tale is slightly more shaded.
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Nov 22, 2014

@DPJHodges I like that they're split on Europe, Dan. It shows a nice line in irony.

Nov 22, 2014

Awwww. A party's first split into factions is such a precious moment bbc.in/11n1Mjs

Nov 22, 2014

People Like Them, and the contempt that runs both up and down our politics gu.com/p/43gkk

Nov 21, 2014

@arusbridger @emilybell instead of just trying to beat Apple to their press releases

Nov 15, 2014

@MandaBrookman but a visa does not equal that. A visa is something different. As I say, prosecution is infinitely preferable

Nov 15, 2014

Immigration control: the perfect answer to jihadists AND pick up artists! Or rather, not gu.com/p/43b58

Nov 14, 2014

And Russell Brand's friend Noël Gallagher discusses his revolution gu.com/p/43a7b/tw

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