Miriam Reimer on Muck Rack

Miriam Reimer Verified

New York
Freelance Journalist

writer, editor, traveler, mom. http://www.athousandsmallheartattacks.com

Before You Offer Advice to New Parents, Remember How It Felt to Hear It

scarymommy.com — Seasoned parents love to dish out advice to new moms and dads. Their intentions are good, but their words aren't always useful in practice to the sleep-deprived and terrified. "Cherish every single moment!" is an old favorite every new parent loves/hates to hear from just about everyone they meet.

A Thousand Small Heart Attacks

athousandsmallheartattacks.com — When trick or treaters came to the door tonight, Joy made sure that every child received one treat - "just like cupcakes on your birthday party" - except for people dressed as Elsa. Those people got two treats.

A Thousand Small Heart Attacks

athousandsmallheartattacks.com — Over lunch yesterday I was thinking how nice it is now that Joy is 4. She's been so well-behaved all week - speaking to me like a human instead of a raging tyrant, as just one example.

A Thousand Small Heart Attacks

athousandsmallheartattacks.com — Note to self: Nothing lifts you out of a low tide of inspiration to write away your daily meshugas than your 2.5 year old rolling around on the greasy gross floor of Chipotle.

A Thousand Small Heart Attacks

athousandsmallheartattacks.com — We celebrated the anniversary of our first born yesterday! Joy remains a sweet little girl, though the four-nager attitude is already taking over in full effect. When she grows up she plans to marry a prince so she can be a princess - and later, a queen. Also a ballerina.

A Thousand Small Heart Attacks

athousandsmallheartattacks.com — Joy: Mommy, how about if we lived in a world of rainbows!? A giant rainbow we could slide down and we would never stop! [pause] A big house of rainbow. But mommy? Living in a house of rainbow is so...confusing. Because how would we ever stop?

Some Light Dinner Table Conversation

athousandsmallheartattacks.com — Joy: Mommy, can I marry you?Me: You might need to get Daddy’s permission since he already married me first.Joy: I don't need Daddy's permission. I need your permission. Will you marry me?Me: Yes, I will marry you. Happily. Joy: But I can't marry you yet because I'm just a little kid.

A Thousand Small Heart Attacks

athousandsmallheartattacks.com — "Let's keep our pants on today, my love." "No, you may not put a half-eaten cupcake back and get a new one." "Yes, I will get you so high." "We don't 'nature poop' at our friend's backyard." "Please, my love, mommy asked you to keep your pants on."

A Thousand Small Heart Attacks

athousandsmallheartattacks.com — That time when you decide to put potty training on the back burner temporarily just as you're down to the very last diaper in the entire house. And your 2.5 year old, perhaps sensing the dire circumstances and hoping to do her part toward conservation efforts, lays a big fat log on her sister's bedroom carpet rather than lay waste to the last of the tushy-covering provisions.
Sep 21, 2015

Shit Happens, Part 4 - That time when you decide to put potty training on the back burner temporarily just... tmblr.co/Zphx7m1ugtQV5

A Thousand Small Heart Attacks

athousandsmallheartattacks.com — Doc suggested I might consider a nose job while he's in there tomorrow fixing a badly deviated septum and shrinking the turbinates in my nose. I've lived with this schnozz for more than three decades and won't be changing anything now.
More Articles →
Jan 29, 2016

RT @XplodingUnicorn: [watching a court show] 5-year-old: What's a judge? Me: The person who makes the decision that everyone else has to follow 5: So it's Mom


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