Writer for Esquire and ESPN The Magazine; eulogist. Currently reading Wonder Boys by Michael Chabon.

Thanksgiving for Single Dads

esquire.com — I watch people. It's a terrible habit, but I can't shake it. I stare at strangers in restaurants and on trains, and I play deduction games, turning the smallest physical clues into the stories of their lives. Hands are usually good giveaways. Mouths. Eyes. Everywhere I look, I see signs and make judgments.

How Money Is Made

esquire.com — Unless you're more of a player than we think you are, that new hundred-dollar bill coming this fall won't wind up in your pocket very often. But it may be America's most popular export, the most coveted bill in the world. And the story of the new hundred

Penélope Cruz Sexiest Woman Alive 2014

esquire.com — More Photos of the Sexiest Woman Alive Some of them had forgotten, or maybe had never known, that a sword would be behind the red cape, and they began streaming out of Madrid's Plaza de Toros midway through the first fight.

The Things That Carried Him

esquire.com — Originally published in the May 2008 issue. Indiana, The End Don Collins stood in the sun and mapped out in his mind a rectangle on the grass, eight feet by three feet. He is forty-nine, wears a handful of pomade in his hair, and no longer needs a tape to take the measure of things.

The End? "

Zanesville Zoo Animal Escape

esquire.com — The horses knew first. Terry Thompson kept dozens of them on his farm just west of Zanesville, Ohio, a suffering river town and the seat of Muskingum County. Most of the living things in Zanesville had been born in Zanesville, or in the county at least; Thompson was one of the few importers.

Robert Caro Fourth Volume

esquire.com — Published in the May 2012 issue of Esquire, on sale soon On the twenty-second floor of the Fisk Building in New York - an elegant brick giant built in 1921, stretching an entire block of West Fifty-seventh Street between Broadway and Eighth Avenue - the hallways are lined with doors bearing gold plaques.

Bruce Jenner Olympic Athlete

esquire.com — Photo: At the Jenner manse in Hidden Hills, California, as Kylie, left, and Kendall are being shot for the new season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.] Published in the June/July 2012 issue Fathers suffer a curse, and Bruce Jenner knows this curse better than most: The day you become a father, you stop being who you were.

Louisville Player Steals Home to Win the Game

Conor McGregor Doesn't Believe in Death

esquire.com — Most of the time, Conor McGregor wins fights with his fists. He has won once with elbow strikes, and he has won once by submission. But the other fifteen times he has professionally beaten another man bloody-most recently Dennis Siver, whom he picked apart in Boston in January-it has been with his hands.
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Jul 06, 2015

@KenTremendous You've made a compelling case that the original Oreo is the 60-feet-six-inches of cookie. Or a case, anyway.

Jul 05, 2015

Good for America, except for all you "Pearl Harbor" tweeting mofos. You're bad for America.

Jul 05, 2015

"5-2, the most dangerous lead in soccer."—Japan's most optimistic man, shortly before he was beaten to death.

Jul 05, 2015

So I missed the fourth goal and just saw it. Apparently I wasn't the only one taking a dump.

Jul 05, 2015

If Abby Wambach starts counting when the Japanese keeper has the ball, Canada should deport her midgame.

Jul 05, 2015

@kforbesy I'm not sure, to be honest, but I suspect he lost some goodies, at least.

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