Writer for Esquire and ESPN The Magazine; eulogist. Currently reading Silver Screen Fiend by @pattonoswalt.

How ISS Expedition 43 Gets Ready for Spaceflight

popularmechanics.com — The astronauts had a busy few days leading up to this afternoon's launch, including being blessed by priests and getting dapper haircuts

This is How We Go to Mars

esquire.com — In March, Scott Kelly will bring us one step closer to Mars by spending an uninterrupted year on the International Space Station. Click here to read "Away," a premium feature by Chris Jones on Kelly's ambitious mission. Astronaut Scott Kelly and I were standing next to the train tracks at the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan.

Scott Kelly Mission to Space

esquire.com — At 3:42 EDT Friday afternoon-in the middle of the cold Kazakhstan night-astronaut Scott Kelly and cosmonaut Mikhail Kornienko will be launched aboard a Soyuz rocket at the Baikonur Cosmodrone to begin the most ambitious manned space mission in decades.

Carrot Top Profile Extras

esquire.com — Yesterday we published contributing writer Chris Jones' entertaining account of his hangout in Vegas with Scott Thompson, a.k.a. the comedian doing (big) business as Carrot Top.

Carrot Top Quotes - Carrot Top Interview

esquire.com — Tonight is Wednesday night in Las Vegas, which means Scott Thompson has to become Carrot Top a little earlier than he does most nights. He has Tuesdays off, so yesterday he didn't have to be Carrot Top at all if he didn't want to be, except he left the serenity of his house to have lunch with his friend Nicolas Cage, who was wearing a white leather suit.

Randy Quaid Interview - Randy Quaid Arrest in Canada with Wife Evi - Esquire

esquire.com — The day begins for Randy and Evi Quaid inside Hearing Room 1 at the Immigration and Refugee Board. The room is windowless. There is a small clock on one wall. It's a few minutes after ten. A Canadian flag hangs in the corner, a coat of arms mounted beside it.

Flight Arrivals - Family Memories at Airport Arrival Gate - Esquire

esquire.com — These days, it's the one place at the airport where you can find what you've lost. So put on your headphones, start watching, and get to smiling again. By Chris Jones More from this author I was on a bit of a bad run a little while ago, mostly because I'd grown to hate people and airports, people in airports most of all.

James Haskell ready for poignant farewell with London Wasps

standard.co.uk — That debut came as a 17-year-old in a pre-season friendly and, although the back-row forward has played club rugby in France, Japan and New Zealand, the best and worst moments of his career have been in High Wycombe.

Wasps' Joe Launchbury set to miss rest of the year with neck injury

standard.co.uk — A neck injury ruled the England lock out of the series and it was expected he would be sidelined for six to eight weeks, making a mid-December return possible.

The Best Bar in America

esquire.com — THE BEST BAR IN AMERICA isn't Irish. It isn't in a strip mall. It isn't the sort of place that charges an outrageous cover for people to stand around in black light pushing back shooters out of test tubes. It isn't a fight club or a meat market.
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Mar 30, 2015

I'm going to start thinking of comment sections as roasts for writers.

Mar 30, 2015

Man, if you have a different kid, you'll see the hard honesty in Ivan's words and it will carve you wide open.

Mar 30, 2015

The eulogy @Ivan_Maisel gave for his son, Max, is a lung-hurting testament to a father's love for his special boy: medium.com/@Ivan_Maisel/a…

Mar 27, 2015

@JayOnrait: It all begins and ends at Furby House Books. You can stay at my place. You'll have your own toilet.

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