Writer for Esquire and ESPN The Magazine; eulogist. Currently reading Wonder Boys by Michael Chabon.
Good for America, except for all you "Pearl Harbor" tweeting mofos. You're bad for America.
"5-2, the most dangerous lead in soccer."—Japan's most optimistic man, shortly before he was beaten to death.
So I missed the fourth goal and just saw it. Apparently I wasn't the only one taking a dump.
Japan has way faster trains, though.
Maybe don't search "Pearl Harbor" right now.
If Abby Wambach starts counting when the Japanese keeper has the ball, Canada should deport her midgame.