Author of ALL THE LIVES I WANT, Yale Divinity School's greatest embarrassment, indentured to a cat named Keith. Send champagne, girls, and money.

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@AlanaMassey — 25,702 followers, 28,353 tweets

Sep 22, 2017

This was so good that I am no longer heartbroken but am hotter than before, if you can believe such things possible! The glow up is real!

Sep 22, 2017

RT @dalykyle: I had no idea how truly sick and twisted Stephen King was until I read that he blasts a Mambo No. 5 remix on repeat…

Sep 22, 2017

@bcaldwell_ I don't relate to this at all, I want to marry every pancake I've ever met

Sep 22, 2017

I love when something is vegan, places feel the need to overcompensate in the physical mass of the dish https://t.co/aTYmuHRdkM

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