writes primarily for @ew's Snapchat but occasionally for dot com —all tweets written by the Gowanus dolphin (RIP)

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@alex_heigl — 791 followers, 5,372 tweets

Jun 28, 2017

Shouts to everyone who stops abruptly at the top of a staircase like it's a surprise ending to the situation they gotta process for a sec

Jun 28, 2017

ty all for yr Fourth invites but the proper way to celebrate America this year is in a dark hole dug with a sharpened bone don't @ me

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