Meanwhile, NBC News has Michael Jordan Admitting to Racism: 'I Was Against All White People'.
In other sports news, Washington Nationals manager Matt Williams was rear-ended in a car accident during his radio interview yesterday and went on to narrate the whole thing.
From Mother Jones, read about former cocaine kingpin Mario Tabraue Sr. lobbying Congress to let him keep his cheetahs (and liger). If you still need some encouragement, Benjy Sarlin from MSNBC tweeted: “Cocaine! Cheetahs! Lobbying! Starlets! Two headed snakes! Murder! Republicans! This one's got it all, folks!”