Your Thursday headline report

"Ain't no party like a Secret Service party because a Secret Service party ends with driving into a security barricade," tweets Washington Post's Mark Berman, aptly summarizing colleague Carol Leonnig's latest scoop on the agents investigated for late-night car accident at White House (which boasts roughly 6,000 shares as of this moment). "Why is breaching the White House perimeter the thing to do lately!?" demands video journalist Patrice Howard. "That they were drunk after leaving the retirement party for the Secret Service spokesman is the perfect coda," observes Daily Beast's Shane Harris. "2 words, guys: Designated driver," advises WaPo's Karen Tumulty. For this story, coworker Philip Rucker rightly calls Leonnig "scoop-siren queen."

Meanwhile, numerous reports pour in on the shooting of two police officers in Ferguson last night after protests erupted in the wake of the police chief's resignation. The USA Today report seems to be getting the most traction on the web (10,000+), detailing that one officer was shot in the face, the other in the shoulder, and that both are conscious. "Awful news first thing this morning," reacts syndicated columnist Connie Schultz.

In politics, Associated Press is suing the State Department for access to the Clinton records (also at 10,000+). "I must say, it's nice to see my former employer @AP go after the Clinton email trove," muses former journalist Todd Dvorak. Incidentally, even if #emailgate weren't going on, these strategists can always lend a quote.

In tech, Alibaba is said to plan Snapchat funding at $15 Billion valuation (1,400+ shares). In lit (and controversy), Harper Lee’s ability to consent to publishing her "new" book continues to be questioned (4,900+ shares). "Oh God, Harper Lee's lawyer has a lawyer," realizes Mashable's Heidi Moore. And abroad, China's tensions with the Dalai Lama spill into the afterlife (10,800+). "The Dalai Lama has hinted that he might not be reincarnated, angering Beijing," explains CNN's Kristie Stout, punctuating her tweet with a laughing/crying emoji.

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