Ain't no party like an ECB presser

"PICTURE OF THE DAY: #Draghi a̶t̶t̶a̶c̶k̶e̶d̶ having a party during #ECB press conference," quips Bloomberg Brief's Maxime Sbaihi, after Mario Draghi's European Central Bank presser was interrupted by an attractive confetti-throwing protestor who promptly stole all of our hearts (~1,700 shares at last count). Also at Bloomberg, Lisa Abramowicz concludes "If anyone doubted whether [Europeans] have more fun than Americans ..." Colleague Joe Weisenthal praises, "This protester is living life." Draghi continued his presser to say he sees ‘clear evidence’ that his ECB monetary policy is working (also 1,700+ shares, but they're still probably mostly for the protester). "Honestly Draghi looks like he's having a pretty good time," shrugs Bloomberg Digital's Joshua Topolsky.

Enough fun for now, though. Here's what else you need to know today: ex-Patriots player Aaron Hernandez has been sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole (10,600+ shares). His prison is just a few miles from where he once played at the Patriots' stadium. The Guardian details new evidence revealed 30 years after a blaze killed 56 sports fans (3,200+). Also, it's Tax Day, y'all! The New York Times wonders, "Would You Let the I.R.S. Prepare Your Taxes?" (~2,000). Author Farhad Manjoo further explains, "Is the company that makes TurboTax making tax day more annoying? I look at Intuit's lobbying." Supreme Court chief justice John Roberts reported for jury duty but somehow got cut (200+). "There is something profoundly wrong about a jury-selection process that fails to empanel this man," declares The Atlantic's Yoni Appelbaum.

And for your daily dose of politics, meet Hillary Clinton's greatest challenger: Hillary Clinton (300+). NYT's Jonathan Martin also delves into how the Clintons learn their lessons (1,300+). We'll add to that proof that you can read too deep into anything, with this allegation that Clinton bypassed a more "centrist" Taco Bell for that liberal bastion Chipotle (200+). "You know, @WSJ, maybe Hillary chose Chipotle over Taco Bell because Taco Bell is crap?" suggests ZDNet's Ed Bott. And just in case you're the last person to find out, now you can create your own Hillary Clinton slogan using her ‘Hillvetica’ typeface (4,000+ shares of delight)! WaPo's Elahe Izadi resolves, "this tool is so awesome, i'm using it to package all of my hot takes."

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