"Dear World: We don't even like soccer and we're still going to clean up FIFA for you. Love, America," tweets The Upshot's Josh Barro, which was gleefully shared thousands of times. Yes, it's true: several top FIFA officials now face corruption charges in the U.S.--and it's not the corruption that surprises, but rather the fact that they'll actually be taken to task for it. "When I heard this on the radio, I didn't get that it was a US investigation. What's this do to the Boston bid?" wonders Boston Globe's Joel Brown. "The US sends it forces to Europe to topple another corrupt regime. Only this time, the Swiss abandon neutrality," cleverly summarizes Yoni Appelbaum with The Atlantic. The arrests came two days before FIFA's body would vote whether to re-elect its president, Joseph “Sepp” Blatter; Blatter has not been arrested, but he's not cleared, either. Here's the official indictment for racketeering. "I'll say this for the US DoJ, they know how to write a press release," reflects Owen Gibson at the Guardian. "Looks like today the US is the most powerful nation in soccer," muses Almar Latour with Dow Jones. Fascinatingly, it appears that a soccer dad resembling Karl Marx--or Santa, depending on whom you ask--might be at the center of this sprawling scandal. "Of course there was a Westchester soccer dad at the center of the FIFA corruption case," reasons Aaron Rutkoff with Bloomberg Businessweek.
Moving on to the environmental beat, ProPublica reveals that farm subsidies give Arizona farmers a financial incentive to double down on growing cotton in the desert, despite its strain on the water supply. Meanwhile at Politico they're investigating the war on coal (the real one, not the pseudo-war). Elsewhere, Rick Santorum has just announced a fresh run for U.S. president. For the Guardian, Chelsea E. Manning divulges her experiences these past 5 years since she was jailed for releasing the "war diaries." And, because no day is complete without scandal, some Chicago cops actually posed for a photo while standing over black man dressed in antlers, and it's not going over well. Dylan Scott at National Journal asks, "i mean, what can you even say?" Well, nothing good.