At the top of the rundown

"That was quick - Cassetteboy vs David Cameron - Gettin' Piggy With It," tweets WorldRemit's Fiona Graham, sharing Cassetteboy's take on the whole David Cameron #piggate scandal (and that link is already at 29,000,000 shares. That is not a typo. 29. MILLION). "@Cassetteboy is a national treasure," announces Rossalyn Warren at BuzzFeed UK. "I wonder what @Cassetteboy puts down as his job on official documents. Regardless, this is kinda funny (and quick)," comes the response from David Court at Alphr.com. "OMG, Britain, I take back every grumpy thing I've said about you. You are the best," concludes Ishaan Tharoor with the Washington Post.

Confused as to what exactly #piggate is? Vox has an explainer for that (of course) that answers the 9 questions you were too embarrassed to ask about #piggate. Sure, the Daily Mail doesn't boast the best reputation for accuracy, nor is their source for the swine scandal a rock-solid one, but #piggate (or, if you prefer, #baeofpigs!) has gone viral, ne'ertheless. Still, as The Spectator's Ian Kirby argues, this pig head "story" would have been thrown out by any tabloid editor. "This is good on how the #piggate story would never have passed newspaper editorial standards without the book," explains John Bowker at Bloomberg News. BuzzFeed's Tom Chivers relents, "it's only my burning hope that it IS true that's kept me from admitting it." Also at BuzzFeed, Scott Bryan caught up with Black Mirror creator Charlie Brooker, who swears their pilot episode about a prime minister who must do the dirty with a pig did not mean to predict this. Chivers sounds off on this, too, tweeting, "given that @charltonbrooker is now a soothsayer I'm pleased that in this interview he predicts a praline Kit Kat." Or did Cameron's accuser simply borrow a page from Hunter S. Thompson? "Here's Hunter S Thompson on the pig trick & politics. The goal: get your target to deny it," tweets Fraser Nelson.

Okay, enough of that. Trending since yesterday is the harrowing headline that U.S. Soldiers were told to ignore the sexual abuse of young boys at the hands of America's Afghan allies. "I don't know what appalls me more: That this abuse happens on such a scale, or that the U.S. looks the other way," confides Steve Fennessey at Atlanta Magazine. "Oh cool we allowed boys to be sexually assaulted on U.S.bases. Another chapter in a totally kickass war," observes Jesse Singal with New York Magazine. "A Special Forces captain ended his career when he beat up a commander for keeping a boy chained to his bed," shares Patrick LaForge at the New York Times. Good luck reading that piece without feeling your stomach churn.

In politics, the pope's people are concerned that American members of Congress are going to get too handsy. "Some members of Congress have been enlisted to block colleagues from touching the pope on Thurs," reveals Roll Call's Adriel Bettelheim. Meanwhile, infectious disease specialists are protesting a monstrous, overnight increase in the price of a drug that treats a life-threatening infection and biotechnology stocks fell today after Hillary Clinton tweeted plans to release a plan to combat the high cost of prescription drugs. Also in stocks, Volkswagen's plunged 15 percent in the wake of their U.S. Emissions cheat scandal. "So you think youre having a bad day? Take [comfort] in volkswagen," suggests Maria Tadeo with Bloomberg News.

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