"Here come the tears again," quips The Daily Show's Anthony De Rosa, a prediction sure to be accurate now that Rep. John Boehner has announced he'll resign from Congress (at 5,000+ shares so far and sure to climb). "Whoa. John Boehner is resigning from Congress, apparently under party pressure re: defunding Planned Parenthood," notes Kathryn Schulz at New York Magazine. Kristen Sze with ABC7 News San Francisco theorizes, "maybe this explains why #GOP house speaker john boehner sat down b4 the pope yest. giving up his seat!" Kevin Dugan with the New York Post confesses, "My first reaction was 'I wonder what Boehner did,' which, admit it, was yours, too." There were plenty of topical jabs, of course, like this one from Kyanna Sutton at the MIT Technology Review: "on the bright side, more time for wine and self-tanners!" Others rallied to his defense, with Greg Gardner at the Detroit Free Press tweeting, "Hey, give the man respect. He had an epiphany after meeting the Pope. Boehner just doesn't need this shit."
Oh-so-relatedly, here's Robert Costa's confessional on a chance private meeting with Boehner the night before he would make his intentions known. "The rare occasion where I see the value of a journalist inserting themselves in the story. Nicely done @costareports," praises Margaret Chadbourn with ABC News. According to Politico, Boehner told reporters he had nothing left to accomplish after bringing the Pope to Congress. And speaking of Pope Francis, remember that heart-warming, impromptu encounter when the little girl ran up to hug His Holiness? Of course you do. Well, sorry, but that was fake: an LA immigration group was the secret puppeteer between that manufactured moment. Here's something that somehow isn't fake, though: the Holy Father is gearing up to release a pop-rock album. "Pope Francis is releasing a pop-rock album called 'Wake Up!' and first single is a prog track. This is not a joke," warns Rolling Stone's Jason Newman. Is he messing with us?