At the top of the rundown

"This story, courtesy of 'three unusually principled hit men' and a wife who wasn't really dead," tweets Wall Street Journal's Rob Barry, sharing the most insane headline of the week: "Wife crashes her own funeral, horrifying her husband, who had paid have her killed" (nearing 5,000 shares already and absolutely certain to climb). "This woman got to do the best 'Surprise, motherf**ker' of all time," points out Spencer Hall at Nick Andersen with NPR and WBUR Boston chimes in, "what a time to be (surprisingly) alive," while Sam Bungey concludes, "Revenanting is so hot right now." "If you can get past the part about the husband trying to have his wife killed, you'll get a chuckle," suggests Dana Fowle at Fox 5 Atlanta. Uri Friedman at The Atlantic similarly calls it "A happyish ending" while Tim Graham at Buffalo News wonders, "Wasn't this a Family Guy episode?" But the most accurate assessment was that from WaPo's Dan Zak: "This story is going to get so many clicks that @sarahkaplan48 might as well take the rest of the month/year off."

In other surprises, U.S. president Barack Obama is expected to propose $10-a-barrel oil tax. "Well, no one ever said that @potus wasn't interesting/provocative," shrugs Om Malik of GigaOM. Meanwhile, the NYPD is kicking people out of their homes, even if they haven’t committed a crime. "Shocking to read this day after de Blasio's #OurCity address in which he emphasized affordable housing and policing," observes ProPublica's Cezary Podkul. Speaking of which, breaking news tells us 2 New York police officers have been shot, although reports indicate the injuries do not appear to be life-threatening. NYT's Alan Feuer dubs it the "Dark flipside of the Akai Gurley case." And in politics, polls show Donald Trump holding a substantial lead in New Hampshire, while Marco Rubio squarely sits in second. Mark Reardon at KMOX St. Louis pleads, "Dear @Jeb: Euthanize your campaign dude...seriously."

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