How many more Super Tuesdays can you take?

"Despite a hair salon on his estate, Trump insists on doing his own hair. (So that explains it)," concludes NYT's Shreeya Sinha after consuming today's most popular Super Tuesday read, "A King in His Castle: How Donald Trump Lives," through the eyes of Trump's very own butler (at roughly 6,000 rubbernecking shares). "[I] didn't know rich people actually still have butlers," admits Emily Cohn with Business Insider. "When Trump's in a bad mood, his butler has hired a bugler to play 'hail to the chief' when he gets home. Yes, really," shares freelance journalist Laura Stampler. "If you put all this—the bugler playing hail to the chief and the rest—in a novel, everyone would dismiss it as OTT," notes Daily Mail's James Forsyth. "Breaking (not-so-shocking) news: Trump's butler says the boss exaggerates his golf prowess," Stina Sternberg from Golf Digest points out another tidbit. "So really, Senecal is to @realDonaldTrump as Hobson was Arthur and Nanny was to Eloise," realizes Ashley Lane at The National. We also learned that Trump likes his meat cooked so well-done, it's rock hard. "Either Trump's butler is dumber than he seems or this is a velvet shiv job," Boston Globe's Joel Brown is forced to conclude.

As for whom to thank for this masterpiece of a profile-within-a-profile, it's Jason Horowitz, "who brought us Biden's 'articulate' (2008) & Romney's haircut (2012), Trump's bonkers butler," explains The New Yorker's Lauren Collins. "I didn't know it at the time but this article is the reason I learned to read," declares this chick.

Getting to the Super Tuesday part, now. More than 1,000 delegates are up for grabs in five states today, meaning the day’s primary voters have the power to significantly alter the course of either the Republican or the Democratic races (or, hey, maybe even both). Specifically, a total of 358 Republican delegates and 691 Democratic delegates are primed for the picking. On the GOP side, Donald Trump could clear his path to the nomination, even if he isn’t the overwhelming victor. But if Ohio goes for her governor, Trump could be facing a contested convention later there this summer, which Kasich has outright named as his strategy. And in Florida, Marco Rubio could snatch those delegates back from Trump -- but if his trailing polls there prove accurate, not only will Rubio’s campaign likely get snuffed out, if paired with a Trump win in Ohio, the billionaire’s nomination would seem inevitable.

So while we're waiting on the future of America to be determined (NBD), we may as well tell you that Trump's campaign manager might just have a tidbit of a behavior problem that goes beyond the Michelle Fields episode. "Oh look, the violent Trump staffer was a problem at his last job too," notices GlobalComment's S. Smith. "More revealing, to me, is that Trump's campaign staff were afraid to tell him about L and couldn't easily reach him," argues Daily Beast's Shane Harris. Simultaneously, his campaign's volunteer contract forbids all criticism of Trump -- theoretically for the entirety of that volunteer's life. "Sneak preview of President Trump's revisions to the Pledge of Allegiance," freelancer Corey Pein quips. Maybe Trump could hire a new manager with all the money he hasn't had to spend on what's amounted to $2 billion in free media coverage so far. "I'm very skeptical of the 'media handed Trump the election' argument, but this data is a good foundation for debate," points out Nicholas Confessore, who co-wrote that article. All this has the far right In Europe hoping Trump will pave the way for them. BuzzFeed's Siraj Datoo shares, "erm, I spoke to far right groups in Europe about Trump. Not sure you want to come here now either."

At least in these trying times we can count on BuzzFeed's K-file, a group of twenty-somethings whom NPR says campaigns should fear. "Breakthrough: A 'Buzzfeed does journalism' story that doesn't mention cat videos!" praises Washington Post's David Weigel. The K squad is the group responsible for unearthing much of the video material that highlights candidates' hypocrisy. "I don't know of any other news orgs with 'kids' doing this type of heavy lifting. Kudos, @BuzzFeed," chimes in Peter Nickeas at the Chicago Tribune. For a start, BuzzFeed just dropped this handy comparison of how Obama handled protesters at rallies vs. how Trump handles them. "Just as you’d expect, but what a thing to see," muses Charles Arthur. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton is fishing for extra cool points by appearing in this Broad City teaser. "HI THIS IS A CLIP OF HILLARY ON BROAD CITY IS EVERYONE ELSE WRITING FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE TOO," tweet-screams USA Today's Kelly Lawler. Not to be outdone, America's sitting president also appeared in a video with "Hamilton" creator Lin-Manuel Miranda, who laid down some free-style for Obama. Plus, #Bam4Ham is an admittedly great hashtag.

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