Can't even handle these headlines

"This should go over well with the GOP base," muses CNN's Manu Raju of the breaking news that former House speaker John Boehner just checked "none of the above" and endorsed his successor Paul Ryan for president (at 3,400+ befuddled shares right now). Kim Insley at KARE-TV calls it "A new wrinkle. (The only constant in this election.)" "It's not even 10am in D.C. and Twitter is full of 3rd-party talk and convention alternatives," observes Bud Kennedy at Fort Worth Star-Telegram.  "Like I said, every crap job no one seems capable of doing falls on Paul Ryan's shoulders. Now, the presidency," points out Commentary Magazine's Noah Rothman. "Paul Ryan for everything," quips Politico's Shane Goldmacher. Meanwhile, Fox News contributor Wayne Allyn Root reacts, "Think of stupidity- Paul Ryan never ran in single state. Never in debate. Never got a single vote," before concluding, "This is why GOP needs 2 be destroyed & rebuilt from scratch by @RealDonaldTrump." Meanwhile, at Cincinnati.comCarl Weiser reacts, "Ouch. A day after fellow OH GOPer @JohnKasich wins OH, @johnboehner backs @SpeakerRyan for president if contested." For his part, Ryan won't categorically rule out accepting the GOP nom, so there's that.

It's true that one of last night's big headlines included Donald Trump losing the delegate-heavy Ohio to John Kasich, who is governor there. Conversely, the billionaire’s big win in Florida finally forced Sen. Marco Rubio to suspend his campaign for good. So now the anti-Trump movement’s last chance to prevent his nomination is to pin their hopes on a contested convention in Cleveland, which Trump has warned could lead to “riots” if he enters the convention just short of the necessary 1,237 delegates and doesn’t get the nomination. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton snapped up at least four of yesterday’s five Democratic primary contests, widening the gap between Bernie Sanders and herself in the delegate race. Clinton’s wins in Ohio, Florida, North Carolina and Illinois make it much harder to envision how Sanders could beat her to the nomination.

And in other breaking bulletins, President Barack Obama announced "I've made my decision"  and just nominated Merrick Garland from the D.C. circuit to the Supreme Court. "Meanwhile, in news that ought to matter a lot," John Authurs responds at the Financial Times. "Oklahoma City bombing shaped Garland's career. Insisted on being sent to scene even as bodies were being pulled out," shares Shreeya Sinha with the New York Times. So who is Merrick Garland, anyway? "Obama called the Republican bluff, now they have to block someone they suggested for SCOTUS," tweets Gizmodo's Matt Novak. Here, too is SCOTUS Blog's past take on Garland (back when he was being considered for what became Elena Kagan's seat, in fact!). The news probably came as a disappointment, however, to this town in India praying for a "son" on the Supreme Court.

And as if that wasn't enough news out of D.C. for a day, their metro system is in the middle of a 29-hour shutdown. Tony Marcano at Public Radio International argues, "Mismanagement of DC Metro should be investigated as a federal crime. Seriously."

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