Unthreading Thursday

"Peter Thiel! Love that guy!concludes Financial TimesBen McLannahan, in praise of Wired's fabulously facetious "How Can We Make You Happy Today, Peter Thiel?" (at 1,500+ delighted shares right now). It might have something to do with the tech billionaire's secret war with Gawker, but we're not completely sure. "For @WIRED, I wrote about Peter Thiel, the greatest human ever, and someone we should ALL write nice things about!!!" explains the ingenious author Brian Raftery, who offers up so many gems in that post it's hard to pick one favorite, but claiming Thiel "put the 'pal' in PayPal, the 'Friend' in Friendster, and the 'ace' in Facebook" is most likely the frontrunner. "I don't even know what's happening anymore what is real who are you please nobody sue me," pleads Jane Ruffino with the Sunday Business Post. "Please love us, Mr Facebook Investor," chimes in Michael Calore, also at Wired. "I think this @wired piece captures how all of American media is feeling about the wonderful @peterthiel these days," observes freelance journalist Quinn Norton. "Let's all us journalists keep this sort of thing running and running," similarly urges The Economist's Helen Joyce. "I know this has been everywhere, but consider it a RT in solidarity," shrugs FedScoop's Greg Otto. Independent journo Martin Beck calls it "Masterful shade." On the other hand, freelancer Arikia Millikan thinks "Wired needs an adult." That kicker, tho.

But, wait. The Thiel (pronounced teal!) thinkpieces are far from done. Fusion's Felix Salmon writes on Thiel’s dangerous campaign against GawkerBen Thompson pens the tale of Peter Thiel, Comic Book Hero, one of two New York Times pieces chronicles gossip in Silicon Valley and the Digital Age, or -- wait for it -- the rumor that Gawker's founder is looking to sell after losing Hogan judgment, which prompts Rafat Ali to muse, "Thiel should just buy it." Anyway, pick your poison.

Speaking of bothersome billionaires, Donald Trump technically only just reached the magic number to clinch the nomination. "Theologians discover hell to be covered in ice and pope no longer Catholic," concludes Timothy Noah, who also would like to point out, "If I'd told you a year ago that Trump would clinch the nomination before Clinton, you'd have had me committed." So here's to you, Man Working Tirelessly to Get Trump Elected, when he’s wrecking everything you built. "A day in the life of Reince Priebus, the Republican leader who had to surrender to Trump," elaborates Bloomberg's Adam Blenford. Trump's advisor Paul Manafort insists "This Is Not A Hard Race" during an interview in which we learn Trump won't pick a woman or minority as VP because "that would be viewed as pandering." GoFundMe's Dan Pfeiffer decides, "The main takeaway from this interview is that Manafort knows more about military coups than democratic elections." And while all this is going on, a quiet but growing concern sprouts in Cleveland. "As @cavs continue their playoff run, @GOP can't get keys to @TheQArena in Cleveland," notices WaPo's Ed O'Keefe.

Also, Bill Clinton got in a 30-minute debate with a 24-year-old Bernie fan.

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