The newsiest of all news
"You down with TPP? "Yeah, You know me." In case you were wondering how to slow jam the news while selling a trade agreement, President Barack Obama just showed us how it's done alongside Jimmy Kimmel (at 21,000+ glorious shares and mounting). "222 days left with O in the big house He's having some fun, well deserved," concludes Douglas Simmons at Bloomberg News, while The Guardian's Elena Cresci similarly observes, "I love how Obama's final months have been filled with memes and viral videos." It featured such memorable lines as "Once you go Barack/You will never go back," "Commander in PREACH," "Baracky with the good hair" and brazen zingers like "Orange is not the new black" (we'll let you deduce for yourselves who was the target of that one)! Rife with pop culture easter eggs, this slowjam even squeezed in a nod to Steph Curry. But look, we won't pretend that everyone was enamored with the stunt. "Obama slow jams the news, so that he can insert some shilling for the TPP? Sigh," laments Shane Dingman at Globe and Mail. Also, there may have been a "backdoor" reference that's likely exactly what you think it is. Oh, yeah.
That was your sugar, time for your medicine. The Wall Street Journal may have just published the clearest story so far on the Hillary Clinton email investigation, revealing the emails in question dealt with planned drone strikes. "Knock knock. Who's there? Emails about potential drone strikes in Pakistan going through Hillary's bathroom server," quips John Hewitt with Medical Xpress and Science X. If you've been feeling at all confused on the points of this controversy, that WSJ post is your best ticket to enlightenment. To add an extra layer of bizarre, supposedly it was that famous Clinton BlackBerry photo that triggered a State official’s first query about the email account. "Can't imagine a more delightful twist to the Clinton email saga than fanboys' favorite meme leading to the FBI probe," admits Lachlan Markay at the Washington Free Beacon. While we're hacking away at Hillary, she reportedly met with Elizabeth Warren this morning, fueling more VP speculation. "Big sit-down coming today between Hillary Clinton and her new BFF Elizabeth Warren," muses independent journalist Jim Roberts. Meanwhile, although Sen. Bernie Sanders has yet to stand down, Clinton's camp already made its first Bernie campaign hire, and it's his top student organizer. Will Bernie make his last stand in the place where it all began?
Donald Trump didn't escape today's news cycle unscathed, either: not one but two publications (USA Today and WSJ, the latter really on a roll) led today with reports that Trump's business plans leave a trail of unfulfilled invoices and hundreds who allege the magnate just doesn’t pay his bills. "Wow. So, it's Trump's a deadbeat day," realizes Noah Rothman. Freelance journalist Paul Brandus points out a "Conflicting Narrative: 1) Gallup: Trump is the jobs president 2) WSJ/USA Today: Trump stiffs the little guy." Elsewhere in GOP news, Politico charmingly profiles the unlikely friendship of Orrin Hatch and Muhammad Ali: "Have you heard the one about the Mormon and the Muslim?"
And in bulletins just broken, we say goodbye to "Mr. Hockey" a.k.a. Detroit hockey legend Gordie Howe, who has died at 88 years old. "'The nastiest person I ever saw on skates.' That's how Gordie Howe's SON described him," notes Michael Rosenberg at Sports Illustrated. Also, the writing has been on the proverbial wall for a while, but Gawker just filed for bankruptcy. Ned Resnikoff at the International Business Times reminds everyone, "However you feel about Gawker the brand, Gawker Media's staff deserves some sympathy today." But Broadly's Natasha Vargas-Cooper couldn't resist tweeting, "BUILD A WALL @Gawker AND MAKE HULK PAY FOR IT!!!!!!!"