"Julia Louis-Dreyfus for VP," jokes media journalist Kara Bloomgarden-Smoke, as everyone else tweeted the real breaking news: Hillary Clinton's vice president is indeed Virginia senator Tim Kaine (already at 1,000 shares and skyrocketing). "A bunch of phones around us at this restaurant buzzed at the same time with the Clinton text about Kaine," notes CNN's Brian Stelter. They really made us hold out for that scheduled announcement, but like Donald Trump's, it was on delay -- still, odds for a while have been on Kaine, which made this about as climactic as last week's Mike Pence reveal, but we'll get over it. "If you'd asked Dems to predict 2016 ticket 2 years ago, decent # woulda said Clinton-Kaine Obv 0% of Rs woulda predicted Trump-Anyone," muses NYT's Alex Burns. "I've never met a single person who's worked with or for Tim Kaine who doesn't adore Tim Kaine. That's a rare thing in politics," notes digital strategist Teddy Goff.
While we were waiting on Clinton, we busied ourselves with a treasure trove of takes on the last night of the Republican National Convention. If you didn't watch, you missed such iconic moments as: Ivanka getting catcalled even while offering the best speech of this week's convention; Peter Thiel's ground-breaking declaration of "proud to be gay and Republican" even while decrying trans bathroom access as a distraction; and Donald Trump's struggle to recall all the letters in LGBTQ as well as his surprising number of sympathetic shout-outs to Bernie Sanders for losing to a "rigged" system (Sanders was less than cool with that, if you were wondering). But Trump had his benevolent moments, too. "Got to say, classy and effective line by DJT, answering Lock her up! chant with, let's DEFEAT her in November," observes The Atlantic's James Fallows. Here's the full text of Trump's draft speech transcript (from which he frequently drifted away, CNN's Stelter couldn't help but notice). Also, if this presidential run doesn't work out, we have the makings of a new Trump biopic.
And then there was Laurie Penny's perfectly titled (and penned) "I'm With the Banned," a summation of an evening spent in the company of Breitbart's newly banned-from-Twitter martyr Milo Yiannopoulos. In a world where Trump serves as "the Gordon Gekko of the attention economy," Milo's crowd is the offspring of "the unholy marriage of [Britain's] soulless debate culture" and "a nation [the U.S.] with no social safety net and half a billion guns." To the rest of us, Penny tweets, "I went to the crucible of swaggering alt-right trolls so you didn't have to. Please send your best puppy pics." Dog lovers, your mission is before you.
And today the take parade marched onward again, as Trump bathed in a post-Convention glow (and took on Ted Cruz). "You have to read Trump’s bananas attack on Ted Cruz for yourself," urges Vox's Katie Hicks. "This is 100% Mad Libs. Okay? Believe me. BELIEVE me. It's so incoherent it's not even, look, it doesn't. Right?" quips freelancer Bill Barol after reading. If you were wondering just how far Trump would take a grudge, Bloomberg News says it's as far as funding Super-PACs aimed at ending the political careers of not just Cruz, but also John Kasich, the next time either one seeks an office. And in a moment of pure bliss, Jon Stewart came out of retirement to take over Stephen Colbert's Late Show Desk and say some things (read: breathe some fire). "Da...daddy? Daddy is that you?" tweets Vice UK's Sam Wolfson, getting understandably emotional. "You kind of have to wonder what Jon Stewart's effect would have been on this election if he still had the Daily Show," muses TIME's Eliana Dockterman. On the other hand, Bloomberg's Megan Hess confesses, "Glad to have Jon Stewart back for a night ... but you can certainly tell he's glad he got out while he could." Still, a reunited Colbert and Stewart was a sight for sore eyes, including those of Christine Friar, who tweets, "it's a little early to post porn but ..."
But don't get too comfortable, DNC. WikiLeaks just dumped nearly 20,000 emails from within the U.S. Democratic National Committee, which so far run the dastardly plot gamut from fake Trump Craigslist ads for hiring hot women to planting questions about Sanders' religious beliefs to pressuring Mika Brzezinski to stop calling for DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz's resignation. And then: "There's the good stuff: Wasserman Schultz requesting a hookup for 'Hamilton' tickets," points out Michael Tracey.
Going global, a shooting spree at a Munich shopping mall left at least 10 people dead in what police are saying "looks like a terror attack." Live updates on that developing story are here, care of CNN. "There is no room for rhetoric of hate & division in the wake of so much violence in the world," cautions The Insider's Louis Aguirre. Which brings to mind another piece of news from stateside: David Duke announcing his run for U.S. Senate. "David Duke's Senate bid announcement proves the White Walkers are really back," tweets Charlotte Alter at TIME, satisfying our daily quota for Game of Thrones references.