Datelines to digest

"This Lochte and his boys armed robbery story as a cover-up for gas station brawl is the plot of an 80s buddy movie," concludes WCCO anchor Jason DeRusha, and he's not too far off in that assessment. According to The New York Post and other media, new reports suggest Ryan Lochte and three other US Olympic swimmers lied about the robbery incident in Rio, after all (that Post article alone is at 3,500+ shares so far). "Nice work making USA look bad to the entire world," admonishes Kaja Whitehouse there. A police source tells ABC News that "one of the swimmers was seen on CCTV footage breaking down the door to the bathroom at the gas station and fighting with a security guard" the same night of the alleged mugging. "I was giving them benefit of doubt," admits WUSA 9's Bruce Leshan, speaking for a lot of us. "Fragments of an explanation emerging in Lochte story. Too bad they didn't come from the swimmers," observes NYT's Andrew Das. "Just when you thought this story (or Lochte's hair) couldn't get any weirder," tweets KMBC's Haley Harrison.

On the other hand, a Guardian exclusive reveals an Olympic athlete from the Great Britain team may actually have been held up at gunpoint in Rio.

In other breaking news, Uber’s first self-driving fleet arrives in Pittsburgh this month! "Oh, you know how uber is pouring money into a decades long robot research project? It's going to market right now," reports Bloomberg's Max Chafkin, who got that big scoop. "Best thing about this is now thanks to Uber your pup can get a ride to you if they miss you," muses Comfortably Smug.

In politics, NBC News explains how Bernie Sanders avoided disclosing his personal finances. "Bernie—who screamed from the rooftops about need for transparency—says he won't file a personal financial disclosure," notes NBC's Bradd Jaffy. Elsewhere in the Democratic party, Hillary Clinton's running mate Tim Kaine is having to answer for comments he made in 2002 that President Bill Clinton should have resigned in the wake of the Monica Lewinsky scandal, while accusations about Hillary's health continue to swirl. So far, her opponent Donald Trump is having an A-OK news day--as long as you don't count those hilarious prank campaign ads put together by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

In other news we can't joke about, but must mention:

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