"Remember Pizza Rat? God, those were innocent days," laments James Poniewozik at the New York Times, after reading "Straphangers go berserk after woman tosses bugs in subway car" (at 26,000+ shares already). "Straphangers," for the uninitiated, are those subway passengers who are left standing, and actually, that headline doesn't even do the madness of this story justice. "Ok starting a story with 'A crazed woman' sets a high bar but the rest of this tale justifies it," admits Rusty Foster. For one thing, someone then pulled the emergency brake, trapping the screaming passengers in a car without AC while crickets jumped on people and the worms "just wriggled on the floor." "Moral: Only pull the e-brake if you loooooove crickets," teases PureWow's Lindsay Champion. "At least [D.C.'s] Metro just sets on fire occasionally," points out BuzzFeed's Jacob Fischler. "This should be remembered with an annual religious observance," recommends BetaMale's Aaron Gell. "How many signs does God have to send us before we all decide to leave this hellhole," demands Margaret Lyons, while freelance journalist Benj Edwards mocks the squeamish: "OH MY GOD THERE'S NATURE ON MY ARM GET IT OFF GET IT OFF."
Others found another use for the tale. Take Hunter Walker's colleagues at Yahoo, for instance: "My entire office has basically stopped and turned into a reading and discussion group about this story."
Back to the election, which is only slightly less insane:
On the other hand, President Barack Obama promised Kayla Mueller's parents after she was killed in ISIS captivity last year that he would donate to the foundation they had established in her name, and now they're saying he broke that promise. "Check's in the mail: WH confirms Pres Obama hasn't donated to Kayla Mueller memorial foundation 15 mos after pledge," ABC's James Gordon Meek reports.