Dear World, I'm sorry

Jonathan Swan at Axios serves up the Scoop: Trump is pulling U.S. out of Paris climate deal, joining the only other two outliers, Nicaragua and Syria. Says Emma Roller, “Ivanka and Jared's moderating effect on Trump is really paying off.” And as Craig Newman says, “We're covfefed…” POLITICO’s Andrew Restuccia and Josh Dawsey also report on the news in Trump to pull out of Paris climate change agreement. They write, “Trump’s move marks the second time in two decades that the United States has negotiated, signed but then spurned a major international climate pact following a change of party control in the White House,” adding that George W. Bush’s reversal on the 1997 Kyoto accord negotiated by the Clinton administration “caused years of distrust of the U.S. in international climate circles.”

For more on the breaking news, Kevin Liptak and Dan Merica have the story for CNN, Trump expected to withdraw from Paris climate agreement, and Julie Pace files the report for The Associated Press, White House official: Trump plans to pull US from Paris deal. Says Jessica Cohen, “Dear World, I'm sorry. Sincerely, Those of Us Who Don't Want This to Happen.”

Of his reporting in The New York Times with Coral Davenport, Trump Poised to Pull U.S. From Paris Climate Accord, Michael Shear tweets, “Looks like the US is going to be out of the Paris accords, though exact language is unclear, wh officials tell me.” Many were highlighting this, from their piece: "But White House officials cautioned that the decision is not yet final." Says Emily Atkin, “NYT says Trump's #ParisAgreement decision is not yet final. Worth considering if anon sources trying to sway outcome.”

Trump unites a divided nation (and insomniac reporters)

Also not clear: that mysterious “covfefe” tweet. As Dan Bilefsky notes, “For a brief moment, Trump unites a divided nation (and insomniac reporters) in bewilderment by tweeting ‘covfefe.’” Matt Flegenheimer of The New York Times treats us to Trump Tweets ‘Covfefe,’ and a Waiting World Supplies the Punchlines. As Lara Jakes tweets, “So worth waiting up for @mattfleg to serve up his flavor of #Covfefe.” “Have u teens checked out this cool blog,” asks Joshua Topolsky.

But maybe the covfefe isn’t meant for us. Because as Ryan Bort reports for Newsweek, Nearly Half of Donald Trump's Twitter Followers Are Fake Accounts and Bots (39,000+ shares). Bort notes, “of 10 million followers Trump has gained since January, about 8.3 million are fake.”

In which The Onion scoops everybody

But while you were busy covfefe-ing, Steven Rich notes, “Damn, @TheOnion scooped everybody including us on this one. Why'd you give them the story, @PhilipRucker?” In ‘Washington Post’ Reporter Frustrated Every Space In Parking Garage Taken Up By Anonymous Source, the venerable outlet quotes “an exasperated Rucker, who recalled how easy it was to nab a prime parking place to clandestinely receive privileged information only a few short years ago.” “Are we sure this is The Onion?” tweets Adam Rose. And Tara Haelle points out, “Back in the old days, being Deep Throat meant something. It was special.”

This is what we should worry about

Speaking of leaks, according to Leaked regulation: Trump plans to roll back Obamacare birth control mandate, report Vox’s Dylan Scott and Sarah Kliff. Tweets Scott, “*Any* employer could exclude birth control coverage for *any* religious or moral reasons under proposed Trump rule.” “Where's Ivanka now?” asks Jessica Valenti.

And, “Chances that nearly every hostile foreign intel service is listening in on Trump's private cell phone? Roughly 419%,” says Noah Shachtman, linking to reporting by Vivian Salama of The Associated Press, Trump’s use of private cellphone raises security concerns. “Forget #covfefe this is what we should worry about,” tweets William Troop.

Now hiring

Henry Gomez asks, “Does anyone want this job? @Carrasquillo @tparti @perlberg & I talked to a bunch of GOPers about the WH comms post.” The answer? No One Wants The Big White House Job That Just Opened Up, according to his piece in BuzzFeed with Adrian Carrasquillo, Tarini Parti and Steven Perlberg. Responses ranged from "Hell no!” and “That would be career suicide,” to “Oh my god, I’m crying of laughter. Why would anyone in their right mind want to be his communications director?"

Something to read while you eat lunch at your desk

“The Mad Men era is dead: Americans are eating lunch out at the lowest levels in 4 decades,” tweets Heather Haddon, linking to Julie Jargon's piece in The Wall Street Journal, Going Out for Lunch Is a Dying Tradition. Dashiell Bennett notes, “The saddest short story: Texas Roadhouse executives don’t get to eat Texas Roadhouse for lunch.” But Sarah Chacko says, “Don't worry, DC lunch spots. My laziness & poor time management won't let you down.”

And finally today, for “A breath-taking, brilliant read..and how he will end!” as Jon Snow puts it, read Rebecca Solnit’s piece in LitHub, The Loneliness of Donald Trump (60,000+ shares), and then check out Luke Broadwater’s story in the Baltimore Sun, Tested in a barbershop, 7th-grader becomes Baltimore's first-ever national chess champion. Says Aja Whitaker-Moore, “God, I love this story. Chess nerds stand up!”

Wednesday round-up

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