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@k_guad — 344 followers, 170 tweets

Nov 12, 2017

Strongest opinion about Singles Day is that 11% off is not a good discount.

Nov 08, 2017

Lots of hits lately on my sole google alert, which I set in 2015. Was anyone ever so young? https://t.co/uCW7RJLDwN

Oct 08, 2017

I wonder if anyone else has a pair of floral Manolos that have killed two medium-sized cockroaches in two days.

Sep 24, 2017

Very helpful PR email has informed me that if I just smile less and stop using straws I won't even need Botox.