Matt Ruby on Muck Rack

Matt Ruby

Brooklyn, NY
Blogger, Sandpaper Suit

Comedian/Writer/Producer. My debut standup album HOT FLASHES: 800PGR.lnk.to/MattRubyTW. Creator of Vooza.com & voice of @VoozaHQ.

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@mattruby — 3,675 followers, 12,712 tweets

I’m so old I remember when teenagers were the massive fuck ups and adults were the ones who explained stuff well.
i'm here to kick ass and chew gum and i'm all outta ass so i'm gonna kick this gum
"am i a monster or am i normal?" -every person who's not a monster
fun how dick pics have turned men into photography experts. "i'm using the rule of thirds with a Rembrandt lighting scheme and a shallow depth of field...and that's how i get my dong to really pop!"
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