I have solved many mysteries in my life. I understand comma splice. I know why a martini is best stirred and not shaken. I know for certain I can do 9 mph over the speed limit anywhere on any interstate with impunity. Well, I’m pretty certain. So far, so good. But I have never been able to fathom why people watch sports. It’s not that I don’t like sports. Baseball, soccer, tennis, it’s all fun. It’s fun despite the fact that my playing those sports is endless entertainment for my own spectators as well.