Sekotong, Lombok: Elawati blames herself for what happened to her son. Rizki Ashadi is five and still wears a nappy. He sits on a rug on the porch, dribbling and contorting his limbs. The front of his sky-blue top is wet with drool and one of his beautiful liquid brown eyes points inwards. Rizki cannot speak, but Elawati says he can understand her. Before she realised she was pregnant, Elawati drank herbal concoctions to treat colds.