Occasionally, said Alan Partridge, I dost venture South. What Alan means, of course, is that he’s sometimes tempted to stray below the line and read the comments on an online article. Venture South enough times when you read articles about health and diet and you’ll experience an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. It’s always these same people, saying the same things. We’ve produced a handy guide so you can skip reading the comments and get straight to judging them.