What I am is what I project to those around me. It took several years to realize that even when I thought I was helpful or caring for others, it was not true. I had nothing to give. I wanted to be a loving mother, a great wife, and terrific teacher. I was a terrific teacher with the subject matter, but my emotional life was in shambles. My students learned the subjects well. However, I was not emotionally available. Gradually, I realized I was not emotionally available to my children or husband.