Writer. Sunday Telegraph columnist. Actual person.

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@sophiamcoutts — 5,787 followers, 3,387 tweets

RT @alastairi: Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the 24-hour cheese vending machine, for all your fondue and raclette needs. Peo… https://t.co/5atR2NkiO9
@Ned_Donovan Ah yes. When I forgot my shoes and ran around the Ritz barefoot being St George's dragon.
@isoldewrites Careful. Those angry warriors will be after you too...
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