About four years ago, in search of a hobby to keep me both fit and to interrupt my increasingly anxious mind, I took up martial arts. While other women my age were leaning into their maternal instincts, I was leaning into an urge to release some deeply suppressed rage at the world. Perhaps all those years of trying to make it better and feeling like we weren’t getting very far had altered something in me. Either way, I decided I wanted to learn, not just to defend myself, but to fight.