Crème de la Crème

Gentle Suggestions was kind of spicy last week. I asked those of you who are in an open marriage or long term relationship, to share with the class. Are you poly, ENM, don’t like labels? Is it a Don’t Ask Don’t Tell situation or are you enjoying talking to each other about it? How does that feel? What made you open the relationship? How long have you been together? Also if you are simply having an old school affair, I also want to hear from you. We don’t talk enough about affairs anymore.

I’m afraid that people forget this is a Muslim and African newsletter. Crème de la Crème is very worldly but we are also very strict and no nonsense about some things over here. Lighting round: Do I stay in my relationship (he’s great but broke) or go for this man who is also really amazing and financially stable? Break up with the broke guy. You can both do better.

Hello! I want to start by acknowledging this might be a deranged thing to ask a stranger on the internet, however lovely that stranger is. But it is not an exaggeration to say I have been agonizing over this question for 3 years. Should I have a third child? I have two boys ages 5.5 and 4 years. They are sweet, demanding, and very high energy. I am finding motherhood EASIER year over year (fuck the haters who say, "It doesn't get easier") and excited about elementary school in the fall.

I keep having the kinds of interactions that remind me why it’s good to leave the house. I love staying inside. Inside is very good. Inside is cozy. I pay a lot of money to live inside. But wow, have you been outside lately? It’s pretty good. Some options: Love (2024) // Dag Johan Haugerud—I’ve seen the movie twice now but I’m honestly seeing the trailer for the first time. The trailer does not accurately convey just how charming and intelligent this movie is.

Trying to survive in current circumstances feels hard. How do we find joy? How do we make this time one that feels good while feeling overall bad? Hello. This feels so vague and I struggle when things are vague. When you say the current circumstances….do you mean American politics? The economy on the brink of collapse? The overall very bad political vibe around the globe? Or some specific circumstance in your life I don’t know about? I wrote a couple weeks ago about going through a depressive episode.

Should I get botox? I feel like every women I know my age (33) is getting it, and I am not blind nor above vanity. I like my wiry grey hairs, until I don't and I get my hair colored. I use benzoyl peroxide and clindamycin on my face twice a day to prevent acne. I know my face has visibly aged, and I can't help envy the smooth foreheads surrounding me. I fear that five/ten years from now, I will look way older than people my age who did get botox.

I hope this is not too much. I had a binge drinking problem about 5-6 years ago that culminated in a trip to the hospital for alcohol poisoning and losing the trust of my best friends and family. Anywho, I've worked hard over the years to control my drinking and have regained the trust of those people. But, I feel myself slipping. I don't drink at home, apart from an occasional beer during a movie, and can go out to dinner or a happy hour and have one or two drinks and go home.

I turned 40 years old yesterday. It’s kind of exciting. Very exciting actually because I didn’t ever imagine myself at this age. I really wanted to write about that experience but instead I spent my whole weekend and the last couple of days figuring out how to submit a Freedom of Information Act request for my Department of Homeland Security records. I’ve filed other FOIAs before before every agency is different.

Ok so wtf do I do in this political moment? I already loudly support Not the Bad Guys in elections. What else is there to do? I can’t convince my problematic relatives to not be problematic (I tried) and am disenchanted with non profits LOL I am not laughing at you. I am just laughing with all the Black people who understand exactly how a question like this makes me feel. I get it, we had a 920+page heads about this situation but you are not happy with the politics of the moment. Get in line, sister.

Ramadan is now in its last nights and every year, it ends exactly like it starts with 2 billion Muslims waiting on the word of trained moon spotters somewhere in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. This will never not be funny to me. The pagan implications and all. With the expected sighting of the waxing crescent moon in the coming hours, we will celebrate Eid al-Fitr, the end of the holiest month in our calendar. It’s 1446 in our calendar by the way. On Eid, we wake up early and eat.