ClickHole

After firing him from their cast for past racist jokes, then inviting him back as a host three times, it looks like after Shane Gillis’ recent opening monologue where he compared women wearing exercise clothing to “whores,” SNL has finally learned their lesson: The beloved sketch show has announced Shane Gillis is only welcome to host another five to six times, tops. Boom. Sorry Shane, but it looks like misogyny has no place on the hallowed SNL stage.

If you’re a comedy fan, then you’ve undoubtedly heard about Shane Gillis’s controversial opening monologue on SNL last weekend, where he compared women who wear revealing clothing at the gym to “whores.” Well, there’s no need to boycott SNL, because they’ve stepped up to do the right thing: SNL has donated $1,000 to whores.

Well, this is something that could be considered a “mess.” Thirty-four-year-old realtor Janice Forte just found out that her work-husband Chris Patterson’s gym-wife, personal trainer Lucia Walton is her real husband Cliff Forte’s ex-classroom crush Faith Owens’ dog-park-girlfriend.

As you age, it’s completely normal to feel less close to people you used to be tight with, and sadly, at this catch-up dinner with your old middle school friends, it’s become totally apparent just how far you’ve drifted away: your old childhood friends now speak in completely different memes than you. Though you and this friend group might’ve basically shared a brain at one point, after a few years living in different cities post-grad, it’s like you no longer know the same language.

Finding motivation to go to the gym is hard enough, let alone pushing yourself through workouts once you’re there. Fortunately for your father, he has you to provide him with all the motivation he’ll ever need to stay physically fit: Your dad thinks about how much you piss him off when he lifts weights. Wow.

Love seafood but hate its short shelf life? One company is boldly addressing fish sticks’ disposability problem with a game-changing innovation: Gorton’s Seafood is now selling a $500 fish stick as a “buy-it-for-life fish stick built to last.” Incredible.

In light of their failure to appropriately respond to the severity of a 2024 sexual assault case, Cornell University has finally taken action and officially paused its Rape and Assault undergraduate major program.

Twenty-seven year old nurse Ashley Morrison has never had kids before. But now she’s pregnant with her first baby, and she’s already thinking about all of the ways she’s going to break the cycle of unhealthy parenting that has passed trauma onto her bloodline for generations.

Well, it looks like the day the robots gain sentience is coming sooner than once believed, because one of the most advanced AI models just solved yet another equation that’s long confounded our best thinkers: OpenAI just solved a Fuck, Marry, Kill that was believed to be impossible. Wow.

OK. Breathe. Just breathe, Leo. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Guys, this is fucking insane. You are never going to believe this. Fuck. OK, so I was just at my lawyer’s office in Topanga and I went to the bathroom. Mostly a number one. Anyway, so…while I’m in there I accidentally drop my wallet into the trash, so I reach in to get it out and start rifling around in there, and my hand feels something soft, warm, and unmistakably sexy down at the bottom of the trash bin.