David Fitzsimmons: Arizona's Progressive Voice

TOHONO RESERVATION CLOSED TO NONMEMBERS WORKING ON THE WALL, “PISSING OFF OUR ANCESTORS, DISTURBING SACRED SPACES” Leave a comment Thanks for reading David Fitzsimmons: Arizona's Satirical Voice! This post is public so feel free to share it. Share Thanks for reading David Fitzsimmons: Arizona's Satirical Voice! This post is public so feel free to share it. Share

He had hopscotched his way to the next island, where Circe had turned his sailors into pigs. Ulysses wanted his crew back. Sly Ulysses wanted his crew back. Circe. You love animals, right? Yes, Ulysses. More than men. I have a gift for you. What is it? A ticket to see “The Sheep Detective”. I think you’ll like it. Agamemnon’s cousin, Hugh Jackmananon, plays the lead.

Ulysses and his crew had sailed until they came upon an island they’d never seen before, an island with what appeared to be a half-buried sphere atop its most prominent hill. Atop the hill he was greeted by strange apelike creatures who were white as lime. Their giant knuckles dragged in the sand. Their tiny white rodent-like heads contrasted with their huge swinging testicles which were the size of massive boulders. Together the pack projected a foul odor of putrid Musk.

One day a giant likeness of a horse appeared on a beach outside the walled city of Troy, a besieged Anatolian ancient city, in northwest Turkey, near the Gullet, where just the day before thousands of Greek warriors had camped as they always had done for years, making sand castles, strolling the Boardwalk, chatting with Gods and attempting to take back their Queen from Troy by flinging sticks and big rocks at the fortress walls.

Join us for a fun Meet Your Mayors Event next Saturday! Hear from the three key cities about exciting new policy initiatives and creative responses to the national chaos. Get energized and inspired! And get a close look at the future of leadership in Arizona! 👉 In-Person Tucson RSVP 👉 Virtual RSVP See you there, patriots. David Fitzsimmons: Arizona's Satirical Voice is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

The Republicans staged a show trial at a hearing where they subpoenaed 85-year-old Dr. Fauci, forcing a great American hero to sit before an inane inquisition which was designed solely to persecute and prosecute the elder Solon. Why? Well, first of all, FOX desperately needed some red meat for its gullible viewers to fill a 24-hour news cycle.

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published Chief Executive Officer of Lee Enterprises Mr. Nathan Bekke Chairman David Hoffman Dear Mr. Bekke, Mr. Hoffman, I understand you are both beginning a new chapter in the leadership of Lee Enterprises. Because moments of new leadership often provide an opportunity to look at long-standing issues with fresh eyes, I hope you might consider one that has remained unresolved for over seven years.

Western reservoirs fall to record low levels, Donald Trump, Jr., uses insider knowledge to invest in powdered water with crypto kings NEW ODYSSEY REVIEWED: FAR SUPERIOR TO OLD HONDA MINI-VANS, AUTOMATICALLY PULLS OVER FOR SIRENS Middle East War Widens Like You Knew It Would-With Orange Hitler in Command Saudi Arabia Reluctantly Enters U.S.-Iran War, Bone Saw Brigade and Fanatical Airline Hijackers ready to go WITH COLORADO RIVER CUTS COMING, LAKE HAVASU CITY LEADERS SAYS “CUTS ARE ALL JUST...

On this lovely hot as hell Friday morning, I am on my way to Thatcher, Arizona, accompanied by my beautiful bride, Ellen, the new retiree. It’s been an amazing week and we can use the break. Ellen is exhausted from lifting the Medicare guide, using it to balance the chaisse lounge and reading hardbacks in the sun.

For years, Lee Publishing, owner of The Arizona Daily Star, has been blocking me from donating my professional life’s work to my hometown Alma mater, the University of Arizona, specifically the University of Arizona Library’s Special Collections Archive. Now that billionaire investor David Hoffman has acquired a controlling stake in Lee Enterprises, making himself the primary owner of the parent company of the Arizona Daily Star I am hoping he may hear me out.