Ask E. Jean

I wake up around 5:30 or 6:00. Two ginger cats at the ready for me. I start coffee, feed the cats. make my bed, open the windows, light candles and slide on my ambient Aura lights. Morning mood lighting. I walk the entire house with my favorite Japanese incense. After cats eat, they go outside for a wee morning stroll about. I set my alarm and sit in my favorite chair for 10 minutes and enjoy my coffee. No phone, no computer. After my ten minutes, I check the socials, the emails etc.

Is it 1947? The year the great Simone de Beauvoir publishes her book,TheSecond Sex and ignites the feminist revolution? Photo by Charles Hewitt, via Getty images. Or 1440 when old Gutenberg invents the printing press? Or 3400 B.C. when a Mesopotamian woman invents writing? Or…….? You get the picture! Let’s have some fun, darlings! Buzz Aldrin on the moon! 1969! Is old Buzz on your list? You are born. There can be no argument here….unless you are AFRAID of giving us the actual date, eh?

Dearest E. Jean, There was an ice cream parlor near where I lived when I was in high school that had a flavor they made themselves — pink peppermint fudge swirl. It had crushed peppermint candies in it with a rich chocolate fudge undertone. I still miss that flavor. As a functional adult, I love caramel gelato. Frankly, though, from this hospital room, the idea of eating any ice cream at all kind of grosses me out. I don’t want anything that heavy to eat at all.

Share And . . . a special, special thanks to Alina Habba Esq.! I could not have done it without you. Leave a comment

E. Jean - I am fresh out of a 9-day stay in the hospital. I contracted a mysterious staph infection in my lungs - triple pneumonia - which leached into my bloodstream (bacteremia). Apparently I was hours away from death. So I am home now with a PICC line in my arm, administering myself an IV bag of antibiotics twice a day. Fortunately I can work from home - even more fortunately, my job is not horribly demanding, and my co-workers are incredibly understanding.

Great news! If that felon opens his big mouth again, sue him for more! Some bully's never learn!

Well, since you asked, I have no problem loving MADAMA BOVARY. It’s one very sexy novel and — very much like MISS LONELYHEARTS by Nathaniel West — there’s not a single wasted word in the entire book. In my opinion Madame Bovary is arguably the first COSMO girl. I wanted very much to be as excellent a writer as Flaubert, but it NEVER HAPPENED! I read somewhere that he’d spend two weeks perfecting a single sentence. Not me.

E. Jean! Very recently as it were! My girlfriends keep me on a perpetual Red Light status ever since Trump did something that pissed me off so extremely that I called my girlfriend in Canada, a retired Toronto detective, and told her (with likely more curse words than actual language) I was in the process of locking and loading every weapon in my house (at least one per room.

E. Jean, I was in the city today. Seeing PROOF on Broadway - so good, highly recommend, the cast is destroyed by the end and the audience is too - and SO MANY JERSEYS. Not just Knicks. Also Brazil and Morocco jerseys. Absolute chaos, and people pre-gaming for the Puerto Rican Parade tomorrow. It was just nuts. Was thinking about that picnic on the Staten Island Ferry as I rode it home. I got dinner at Fraunces Tavern as an escape.

I spent years answering other people’s questions. Then I acquired some of my own, like what are we gonna take on a picnic? And the Conflab is pulling me through! To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.