Pulling the Threads with Elise Loehnen

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I’m a long-time podcast host, magazine editor (Condé Nast Traveler, Lucky), media exec (former chief content officer of goop), and the author of the New York Times bestseller On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good (Dial Press/PRH). I focus primarily on culture, and the way it lands in our bodies: Why do we do what we do? What’s us versus the stories we’re told about who we’re supposed to be? I’m interested in pulling apart this tapestry so we can re-weave a truer version. I’m also a seeker: While I’m not affiliated with any religion, I turn to all of them for wisdom and larger context. I call this applied spirituality: How do we take the vertical—its ineffable, magical nature—and spill it into the horizontal. How do we live this deeper meaning in our ordinary existence? I write about this a lot. I’m married to a lovely guy named Rob and we have two sons, Max and Sam. We live in Los Angeles though I was born and raised in Montana and consider that home. Source

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A Life Update (Monthly Solo)

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By Elise Loehnen
| Pulling the Threads with Elise Loehnen
You can listen to this episode on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. (Enjoy this video of Sammy, enjoying the rain and his pony Rocky. We’re in Montana for the week—it’s been so nice to escape L.A. for some time in nature.) I spent the past month largely recovering from a (successful) double mastectomy—it was very intense, and I also had amazing care, from both my team at UCLA and also from my family and friends.
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Getting Out of the Unconscious Loyalty Trap (Mark Wolynn)

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By Elise Loehnen
| Pulling the Threads with Elise Loehnen
You can also find this episode wherever on Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. It is also available on YouTube. Mark Wolynn is a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma and the director of the Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco. He wrote the mega-bestseller It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle. And just last year, he fully updated and revised this amazing guide with new research, stories, and tools.
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Reckoning with the End of a Relationship (Belle Burden)

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By Elise Loehnen
| Pulling the Threads with Elise Loehnen
You can also find this episode on Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also find it on YouTube. If you haven’t already read Belle Burden’s memoir Strangers, you’ve likely seen it or heard of it. Pulling the Thread is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Strangers is a beautiful, hard-won, honest, and ultimately affirming story about the shocking end of Belle’s marriage, and what she chose to do after.
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What's Behind Lasting Attraction? (Paul Eastwick, PhD)

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By Elise Loehnen
| Pulling the Threads with Elise Loehnen
You can also find this episode on Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. It’s also available on YouTube. I loved Paul Eastwick’s book, Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection. And I had so much fun talking to him about so many things. Paul is a professor of psychology at UC Davis, where he’s the head of the Social-Personality Psychology program and the director of the Attraction and Relationships Research Laboratory. Pulling the Thread is a reader-supported publication.
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Why Women Need Fairytales Now (Sharon Blackie, PhD)

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By Elise Loehnen
| Pulling the Threads with Elise Loehnen
You can also listen to this episode on Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. (Including YouTube.) Sharon Blackie is a former neuroscientist and a psychologist with a profound understanding of mythology and folklore. She has a new book out, called Ripening: Why Women Need Fairytales Now. And I was so excited to have her back on Pulling the Thread to discuss. Pulling the Thread is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
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What Dark Retreat Offers (Andrew Holocek)

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By Elise Loehnen
| Pulling the Threads with Elise Loehnen
Listen now (58 mins) | "Because then it helps you see that, oh my gosh, I spend my entire life distracting from these primordial really uncomfortable feelings. And if I can bring them into the..." You can also find this episode on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. Andrew Holocek is an interdisciplinary scholar-practitioner in Tibetan Buddhism and other wisdom traditions.
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The Trust Fall

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By Elise Loehnen
| Pulling the Threads with Elise Loehnen
I've really never, ever cared for these. When I was a freshman in high school, I went to see Pearl Jam in concert with my boyfriend. Pearl Jam had connections to Missoula (their bassist, Jeff Ament, is a Montanan) and, well, it was Pearl Jam, so the University of Montana auditorium was packed. It was a big event.
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What Happens If I Take My Foot Off the Gas? (Monthly Solo)

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By Elise Loehnen
| Pulling the Threads with Elise Loehnen
Listen now (28 mins) You can listen to this episode on Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. As I’m heading into a series of initiations, I’m sharing a few challenges (opportunities!) that I’m sure many of you are familiar with: our struggle to prioritize ourselves, worrying over what will happen if I slow down, wanting to have faith in myself in the way that I have faith in other people and in the world.
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Designing Your Own Ritual (Bruce Feiler)

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By Elise Loehnen
| Pulling the Threads with Elise Loehnen
Listen now (60 mins) | "I ran the numbers on this. You ran up births and deaths and marriages. The average person in 1800 had 80% more ritual occasions than we have today. So it took..." You can also listen to this episode on Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. (It’s also available on YouTube.) Bruce Feiler is one of the most delightful people to speak with. He was on Pulling the Thread a few years ago talking about life transitions, which was the topic of one of his many bestselling books.
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The Clipping Economy

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By Elise Loehnen
| Pulling the Threads with Elise Loehnen
Manufactured virality and what that means for the rest of us. Those of you who aren’t familiar with the podcast space may have missed the news early last year that YouTube became the #1 podcast platform in the globe. It had finally edged out Spotify and Apple, surpassing 1B “listens” per month. I took this in with wariness.
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Loehnen, Elise