I <3 Mess

Hello! Hope you’re fairing far better than Adele (pictured above). I’m coming to you live off of an inexplicable 12-hour internet outage in my entire neighborhood courtesy of Optimum. Very cool stuff! I have one random pop culture musing I’ve been sitting on for weeks and haven’t been able to find the right time to express, so I’m just going to lay it all out here for you fashion freaks.

Hey! Happy 4/20 to all those who partake. And I hope everyone had a thriving and prosperous week otherwise, or at least got to go outside in the sun for a minute. I feel like I spent most of this week escorting my dog Fran to and from my building’s backyard as she’s currently going through a period of great potty time fakery. She is fully housebroken, but the problem is that means she also now knows the trick to accessing outside and is dead set on abusing it.

Hey! I guess it’s officially summer here in NYC as it is mid-April and 90 degrees outside. Thanks to the sweat and stink currently overtaking the city, my dog Fran has been introduced to the concept of flies for the first time in her short seven months of life and they are driving her into an absolute frenzy. She has been snapping and leaping through the air all week trying to catch those little guys to no avail.

Once again, I’ve had the absolute time of my life combing through the roughly 100 pages of 2002 Grammys-related Getty Image search results. If there are any other events from the past you’re de…

Hello! Happy Passover and Easter to all those who celebrate. I’m writing this section to you a little bit early this week as I have an obligation to attend my friend’s mom’s seder as the token goy. That gefilte fish isn’t going to eat itself, so let’s get into it! As you probably gleaned from today’s newsletter title, and as paid subscribers and Twitter followers already know, today is my last day at Vanity Fair.

RIP Karl, you would’ve loved The Chainsmokers “Let’s Take a Selfie” Hello from beautiful, temperate New York City, Thank you all for joining me back here again for another special edition of Ye Olde Me…

Ciao <3 In our Artist’s Way group this week, my friend told me that she knows a guy who signs off all his morning pages that way and I love that and can’t stop thinking about it, so now you get to think about it too. Anyway: We’re here. Mess is back. And although my life remains in minor upheaval, I feel weirdly, suspiciously calm about it all. And I will also have more to share on that front next week, I promise. My porcelain mug class went great, for those curious.

Ciao bellas! It’s officially been three years of Mess. How insane is that. I started all of this in quarantine on my sister’s couch with no career and no prospects, just a passion for scrolling aimlessly through gossip websites to fill my every waking hour. Since then, Mess has exploded into something beyond what I ever could’ve imagined. Thank you so much for reading and spreading the word and for all the nice things you’ve messaged me over the years. It means the world.

Hello and welcome back to the 105th most popular culture newsletter on Substack! Soon to be 104th, fingers crossed. In all seriousness, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but one month after hitting 6,000 Messketeers, we’re already zooming up on 7K any day now. Please keep spreading the good word of Mess to all your pals and posting about it on social media, you wouldn’t believe what a difference it makes.

Hugh Hefner and his many blonde beauties, including what appears to be triplets. Hello Mess Masters! Welcome to the first ever installment of Ye Olde Mess. Today we are tackling the 1998 Video Music Aw…