MOTHER NOURISH with Emine Rushton

And a very particular picture come to mind. Of Mr R’s trousers, both having lost their top buttons, folded neatly on the dresser, their two top buttons on his bedside table, awaiting instruction. A few weeks’ later. “My trousers have lost their buttons.” I look up from the book I’m reading. “OK,” I smile, half-amused, half-incredulous.

“It’s too late baby now, it’s too late Though we really did try to make it. Something inside has died And I can’t hide, and I just can’t fake it.” Ah, Carole King, a woman who really understands heartbreak… and her self. I realised last year that the decision to separate from a longterm partner (a quarter of a century & counting…), isn’t formed in the mind… it is made in the heart. I didn’t change my mind. My heart changed, irrevocably and completely.

I wrote the words below, in my journal, during the pandemic. Spring – ordinarily a time in my own life and being of great potential, promise, energy and vivacity – was replaced this year with something far quieter. We are slowly realising just how traumatising the last year has been on the collective consciousness. In the literal loss of loved ones, of connections, of community, of dreams, of careers, of businesses, and the metaphorical loss of a life that will never be the same again.

The Sunday Refill In this season of fire, cool & calm is the antidote Where women’s health, holism + deliciously imperfect humanness meet Two years ago, having developed an autoimmune condition after a period of prolonged, chronic stress, I resolved to do things differently. I started by changing some of the things in my life that had continually tripped me up. These all-too-familiar sticking points included: Over-promising – “No problem.” Lie.

The Sunday Refill It's not complicated, but it's crucially important Where women’s health, holism + deliciously imperfect humanness meet Whether you’re new to MOTHER NOURISH®️ or an old faithful – WELCOME, 👋🏽 I’m Emine – a former health journalist, researcher, and holistic health practitioner. THE SUNDAY REFILL IS ALWAYS 3 THINGS: FREE, HONEST & NOURISHING ☕️.

I’m sitting with this, this month, for so many different reasons. I have two living grandmothers – both approaching their 90s. I lost my sweetest, paternal grandfather in his 60s; my beloved maternal dede at 87. I am now 46. My dad is 70. Numbers frighten me now in a way they never did. Double my years on earth, and I reach 92. I feel in my bones that I might weather another 30 beautiful summers, if the Goddess wills it so.

I began a deeper dive into the question above two weeks ago, in the post below, fully intending to return to the thread last week… but what I’ve realised is that the answers to the above question are myriad, complex, personal… Any enquiry into what feels good, safe or stable is necessarily, deeply individualistic. But there are also areas of helpful commonality, well supported by women’s own lived experiences AND science, that I will try to explore a little more, below, and in the weeks to come.

An away day with a big team, the sort of thing I usually enjoy – but the night before, things at home had been really upsetting… and I had not managed to sleep more than a few, anxious hours. In the past, my body would have pushed through.

Because it can be both immensely simple – move, breathe, eat, sleep as well as you can – but simultaneously individualistic, conditional, subjective, and biologically-speaking, enormously complex. I wrote earlier this week about the fact that we need energy to sleep. Oddly counterintuitive in a way… because we think that we fall asleep when we have no energy left and must replenish the store before entering another day.

Today I wanted to pick out a single thread from the RESPECT practice that I first shared in the letter below, two weeks ago. This is the foundation of the ‘whole’ or holistic way I approach women’s health. It’s a way of living that honours your body, your energy, and your needs. It’s how you return to yourself, again and again, until self-advocacy becomes second nature and self-respect becomes your quiet strength. RESPECT isn’t another thing to remember or do.