Exploding Giraffe

Are you trapped at work right now? Brian here, wondering if you’d you like to read 150 pages (longer than an entire volume of Saga!) from an explicit sci-fi/romance/horror graphic novel called Spectators by artist/co-creator Niko Henrichon, letterer Fonografiks, and writer-boy Me. It’s extremely “not safe for work,” but what do you care about safety?

Do you know any good tips for managing jet lag? Brian here, and along with no longer being able to ride the Corkscrew at Cedar Point nor safely process McDonald’s dollar menu, my aging body has apparently also lost the ability to efficiently adapt to different time zones. I woke up at 3am last night like Ra’s al Gaul emerging from the Lazarus Pit, consumed with psychotic rage. Is this my life now? Anyway, nice to be back home after a spring break adventure overseas, but more on that in a bit.

Are you on “spring break” this week? Brian here, and I don’t know if that’s a thing in your age bracket/part of the world, but my kiddos are off school and we’re about to go look for some trouble, so no time for lollygagging (which autocorrect claims is actually spelled “lallygagging”??).

Are you good at getting back to people in a timely fashion? Brian here, and with apologies to everyone I owe a text/email/call/telegram, I am NOT. At the moment, I’m in a vortex of several very rewarding creative endeavors (one of which I hope to be able to tell you more about soon), which I realize is an annoying and unsatisfying excuse when we’re ALL busy with cool shit, but it’s the best I’ve got.

Did a yellow-rumped warbler also wake you up early this morning? Brian here, and on my recent constitutionals, instead of podcasts or my own poisonous thoughts, I’ve been listening to all the weird birds in my neighborhood, and attempting to identify them with my favorite app, Cornell Lab’s Merlin Bird ID, which is kind of like Pokémon GO for melancholy middle-aged oddballs.

Did you win your office Oscar pool? Brian here, and I realize I’m one of the last humans on the planet who still fills out a printable ballot for each Academy Awards, but I’ve been competing with my dumb older brother, the definition of a Hollywood outsider, for the last 25 years, and last night, I’m proud to say that I finally… lost to him for the 25th time in a row. Goddammit, I was sure Billy Nighy was a lock for Best Actor.

Are you under multiple deadlines at the moment? Brian here, and who’s not, right? But for the first time in a long time, I’m actually enjoying being inside the temporal slipstream of several simultaneous creative projects. Hope you are, too. Helps to only be collaborating with great human beings, like all-star artist Niko Henrichon and genius letterer Fonografiks, who worked together to add the finishing touches to this week’s new pages of Spectators only minutes ago… Or is it?

How’s the weather by you? Brian here, writing from somewhere in California’s surreal San Fernando Valley, which looked like this over the weekend (those few moments it wasn’t pouring): My writerly emotional state followed a similarly unpredictable trajectory, but I’m relieved to arrive at this unexpected double rainbow, faint as it may be.

Happy Presidents Day? Brian here, and no matter where in the world you reside, I hope you’re safely celebrating all past, present and future elected heads of republics, societies, councils or other organizations. And that you’re buying shit at a deep discount! Speaking of which, a final reminder that this week is your last chance to win one of these absurdly valuable copies of Saga #1… ….AND an original page of Spectators hand-painted artwork from the mighty Niko Henrichon.

You don’t care about the Super Bowl, do you? Brian here, and I just wanted to watch the commercials like a good consumerist, but my dumb family instead made me play an impenetrable board game called Scythe? I still don’t understand what happened, but it involved my children laying traps for me and stealing my food, so basically just real life.