Alma

Haley Jakobson (she/her) is a bisexual author and playwright living in Brooklyn. In her work, she explores queerness, girlhood, brains, and bodies. Haley’s debut novel, OLD ENOUGH, is a New York Times Editor’s Choice and is described by Vogue as being “full of winsome bisexual chaos.” Her sophomore novel CAVEGIRL, about a bisexual nanny living with undiagnosed OCD, is forthcoming from Penguin Random House & Dutton Books. Haley is a gemini apologist and a killer follow on Instagram.

More often than not, you’re a capable, positive person who can navigate life's day-to-day challenges. Sure, you get frustrated and disappointed but you get over it quickly and move on. But what happens when daily stressors suddenly become overwhelming?

Embarrassment is a whole-body reaction. There's the reddening face, the inward cringing, the lurch in your stomach, the sense of dread. Once it passes, it’s normal to want to get away from it, to hide it from everyone. The problem is that, even when pushed to the back of your mind, unaddressed embarrassment has a way of destabilizing your sense of self and undermining your confidence.

You were not placed on this earth to fade quietly; you were meant to take up space and make meaning at every age. As a therapist who cares deeply about this topic, the first thing I want to do is validate the experience of any older individual who is feeling less visible. This is a problem that needs to be addressed. Researchers and clinicians refer to it as “social invisibility” and it affects millions of people over 60.

Grief doesn't follow a schedule and, in the hardest moments, can feel limitless. It floods in without warning and takes over completely. Whether you’re at work, running errands, or out with family or friends, you can find yourself suddenly unable to think, talk, or move. Within a matter of seconds, the tears start falling. That fact that it feels uncontainable is part of what makes it so intimidating and even a little frightening. Art therapy, in a very literal sense, can be a container for grief.

There’s no shortage of LGBTQ older adults — around 3 million people ages 50 and over identify as LGBTQ, and this number is expected to grow to 7 million by 2030 — but that doesn’t necessarily make coming out later in life less intimidating. Coming out later in life brings unique challenges: the potential to disrupt long-standing relationships or marriages, fear of rejection from lifelong friends or family members, and even concerns about financial or housing security.

This article discusses sexual assault, trauma, and related mental health impacts. If you are in immediate crisis, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or text HOME to 741741. There’s a moment when you realize something has changed. It’s not always right away; sometimes it sneaks up days or even weeks later. The world doesn’t feel the same. Familiar places feel a little off.

If you have a relationship with God that’s central to your life, it makes perfect sense to want a Christian therapist. “When both the client and therapist practice the same faith, they can draw on a shared body of knowledge that they both understand and value,” says Chuck Roberts, LCP, a former pastor and Christian therapist based in Dallas, TX. Connecting with a Christian therapist can take a few extra steps — and there are some special considerations to keep in mind.

“That’s not what I meant” or “You’re not hearing what I’m saying” are things I hear clients say to their partners all too often. When these comments go ignored, small resentments build, conversations are avoided, and needs go unmet. This can happen slowly over time, and it’s often hard to realize that it’s happening at all. By the time clients come to me for help, they’re typically struggling with major conflicts. They care about each other, but can’t seem to connect.

You’re running on five hours of sleep, holding down a job that’s draining the life out of you; yet, somehow you still manage to show up for your kids, your partner, your aging parents, and that one friend who always seems to have it even worse. You are exhausted. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you know things aren’t quite right with your mental health. But therapy feels like something you just cannot afford right now.