Institute for Family Studies

In the 1960s, the psychologist Harry Harlow placed newborn rhesus monkeys in clean, temperature-controlled cages with food, water and everything they seemed to need. They lacked for only one thing in this University of Wisconsin experiment: contact with other monkeys. The results of being isolated for months were devastating: The monkeys rocked, harmed themselves and stared blankly. When finally introduced to peers, many cowered or lashed out, and at least one stopped eating and died.

Ever since the “tablet boom” of the early 2010s, parents have been in a bind. Tablets are cheap, and the dollars spent go a long way. The latest Amazon Fire Kids tablet is just $55 and comes loaded with features: calmer flights, quieter car trips, a birthday present that is sure to please. Count those extra minutes a tablet allows to wash some dishes or pay a bill, and it starts looking like a good deal.

Conventional wisdom holds that children bring a special kind of existential purpose into the lives of their parents. A Pew survey of 17 countries found that “family and children” was by far the most commonly selected source of meaning in life, and a survey of Greeks found that 87% of parents marked “giving meaning to life” as an advantage of having children.

Marriage rates for 18- to 29-year-old men have dropped considerably in the last 60 years, and the majority of these men feel isolated or lonely at least some of the time (as we found in in Parts 1 and 2 of America's Demoralized Men).

In March 2014, at the age of 34, I went to my local healthcare center and had a vasectomy. To this day, my wife and I cannot easily explain why we decided to have the procedure. We had recently completed the “full set”—a boy and a girl. We were tired from chasing two toddlers around the house. We were financially stressed. I had internalized the notion that a small family was a responsible decision. And we believed we were finished having children.

Leah Libresco Sargeant has a remarkable gift for making her whole extended network into a community. Leah is the author of Building the Benedict Option, Arriving at Amen, and The Dignity of Dependence, and newly the editorial director at the Institute for Progress. She and her husband Alexi are raising their children in Hyattsville, Maryland, a neighborhood which includes a strong, intentional Catholic community held up by guaranteed meal trains and borrowed tools.

Highlights Religion, marital stability, and sex; what AI is doing to young brains; and more. Post This Dating Education Action Network launch, the importance of having family dinners, and more.

America is in the midst of an epidemic of social isolation. Driven in part by the digital revolution of the last 15 years, the nation is witnessing atomization and anomie at a scale perhaps never before seen in our nation’s history. Daily in-person conversation, teen socializing, face-to-face community life, and even sex have all declined sharply in recent years.

The American family with young children is changing rapidly with respect to the relative educational attainment—and potential earning power—of mothers and fathers.

Imagine feeling lonely, anxious, or uncertain, and having someone available instantly. Someone who always responds, never criticizes you, never gets tired of listening, and consistently tells you that you are valued and important. For a growing number of people, that "someone" is not another person. It’s an AI companion. The rise of AI companionship is occurring during a critical developmental period for many users.