Optional Optimism

I met web designer and candlemaker, Erin Chmelik when she was beginning to contemplate leaving her job working for another and going all in on herself. We did a six pack of coaching calls and then another six pack. I remember she drove out to my house when I moved into the mountains of Colorado to meet me in my pop up camper that I made into my office. Very fresh air, fresh coach frequency.

Sending you a poetic tasting that came pen to paper during my Writing Club this morning. I tasted the fruit of desire and decided then and there, I will always eat // The thrill of broken flesh upon my teeth as the liquid escapes my lip’s edges to dance down my chin, I must be part vampire //

Would you even believe I picked up another book with fragmented style of storytelling? As you read my first time in July with this writing style here: I am reading The Crying Book by Heather Christle, and yes, it is actually a book about crying. It is written with the dots and hop-scotch stories and everything. I love crying and the cover of the book is stunning. I sent a text of me holding the book to my friend in Maine who, in fact, saw me cry a lot when I lived there. She asked if I was okay?

I have been having a lot of conversation with small business owners and mothers and event planners about the behind the scenes it takes to bring an event to life. This can be an event for your brand, this can be your child’s birthday, this can be a book club or coffee tasting. I hear how most people scoff at event pricing and nit-pick every single detail. One time someone didn’t come to my event (that was AMAZING, by the way) because I was supporting a local business that served burritos.

When I think of Julie Schreiner, I think of her sipping a hot coffee in a ceramic mug made by a local artist and she is barefoot in the lush California soil of her backyard checking on her garden beds. She lingers at some perfectly weird shaped squash, pulls a couple weeds with a tipsy spill of coffee into the soil which she figures might wake the veggies as it waker her, too. Four mini alpacas come over to say hello while the chickens free range as her kids wake up to say hi.

There are some red flags flagging about the human experience right now, some bright red and others making their ways in pinks and magenta for a bit. Specifically in this sojourn of my mind, I feel them focused on being online, chronically online and the impact we are all starting to feel there. The drama and invasion of privacy that is the algorithm. The loss of eye contact. The loneliness epidemic. The meta lawsuit and children’s mental health. Remote work.

This is what I have so far for my fourth e-book on Knowing, Living, Breathing and Becoming Your Why (rough draft title, obviously). And you know what, it is a start. Happy September to all. I keep this Audit & Ask behind a paywall and today, I found out why as I unleashed myself fully in this one and it felt pivotal. Thank you for being here, reading my words and support my art. It means a lot as I lean on your support to continue to foster my creative expression and clarity my why, again and again.

Do you ever meet someone and wonder, ‘have we met before?’, that is how I felt when a mutual friend introduced me to Paige Gott. She was my first friend when we landed in Maine and now, a forever friend. We are both from Texas, we are both unclear-ish on how the hell Maine made it on the geography board x life board and in the two years living in the same state, we were cold all the time and drank coffee all the time and laughed and cried all the time.

This past week, I showed up to a zoom call disheveled, tired and on the verge of tears. I had run out of contacts and thus have been wearing my (very) thick lensed glasses that have a very Jeffrey Dahmer vibe and not in a good way. The barista at my local coffee shop actually said ‘hello Dahmer’ to me yesterday. And my skin is recovering from traveling from dry to humid and back to dry in a matter of weeks, don’t even get me started on my gut. And my stress has been pretty wicked.

If I had a travel transporter device, I would pick it up right now and transport myself to the snowmelty magic of the Kaweah River in Northern California right at the edge of Sequoia National Park. My friend and creative, Leslie Alterman would already be there in the river, she always loves to arrive days early for her solo integration time. Our friend, Jenna Zabrosky would be there, too - because that is what we always have done.