Chapter 23

Hi! Welcome to Chapter 23. Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit. Bonus points if you get the reference and tell me about it in the comments. You know how people deliberately post controversial opinions to stoke the fires of engagement? Well, here’s my hot take you can fight me on: Do you prefer tea or coffee? There’s only one right answer. Tea is better than coffee. I’m on Team Tea. We can still be friends if you’re on Team Coffee. Caffeine is a broad church.

“Be a goat, not a sheep.” — James Garside Do you remember the golden age of the internet? Do you remember when it used to be a fun place? Do you remember when you used to chat with friends from all over the world? In short: Do you remember when Twitter used to be Twitter? Well, I wrote this back then. My Twitter Rules. A little bit of silliness from a much happier time. It was a joke but I stand by every word.

“It’s ok to die. It’s ok to fail. But it’s not ok to live in fear.” — James Garside This is very short. Three sentences and a confession. Listen three times and then go write something. I fear death less than failure. This took me longer to arrive at than you might think. It’s a strange thing to know about yourself. Good to know regardless. If you’re not feeling motivated then you need to stop and ask why. I don’t have the answer. But fear of failure is often worse than failure itself.

“Forget about writing a novel. Write scenes and stitch them together.” — A Drunk Writer Wisdom shows up in the strangest places. The best writing advice I ever received was from a drunk writer who broke into their own car. If you have a minute I’ll tell you what they said. Worth every second. The advice he gave me that night is the most useful thing anyone has ever said to me about writing. Alcohol may have had something to do with it. Who was this mysterious writer? I’ll never tell. Nobody.

“The Universe is made of stories, not of atoms.” — Muriel Rukeyser Three paragraphs and a quote. Quantum Mechanics, The Bible, and what you hide from. I’m not sure what any of this has to do with writing but it sounds about right. Do these ideas belong together? I report. You decide. Nobody.

Hi! Welcome to Chapter 23. Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit. I saw a Dinosaur in town. It was right next to the cafe. I think it was a Tea Rex. “One of the most striking - and to the novice surprising - features of magic is its meticulous precision.” ― Kathleen Raine So many magicians are armchair occultists who give off the vibe of someone who played too much Dungeons and Dragons as a child.

“What’s the message of encouragement you most wish to hear? Go shout it from the rooftops.” — James Garside This is a very short piece. The show notes are longer than the original post. That might tell you something but I’m not sure what. The idea is simple: Those words of encouragement you wish someone would say to you? Make them your message to the world. If you need to hear it then someone else needs to hear it too. Say it. Write it. Post it. Don’t whisper it to strangers on the bus though.

“But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally she’s going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can’t stand it. I been there before.” ― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Light out for the Territory. Practical advice for writers who are drowning in the internet. The internet is a glitterball of distraction. You know how much you like shiny things. It’s a wonder you ever get any work done. Unplug. Disappear. Turn off the news. Come off social media.

“We’re all just space-monkeys, really.” — James Garside Ultra short off-the-cuff review of an obscure recording about a legendary occultist. I enjoyed it way more than I let on at the time. It’s a little more about Hyatt than Regardie but still worth your time. What to expect? Aliens, magick, the Golden Dawn. You know. The usual. It might help if you know who Israel Regardie is. But if you don’t know then listen anyway. Then you will know. You see how this works. Nobody.

“I’ve got sand in my dreamcatcher.” — James Garside This is a short review of a book that I didn’t like very much. Barely a few lines and an insult. I feel bad about it. But not enough to read the book again or write a longer review. To be honest I wasn’t sure whether to bother reading it out. But I’ve committed to reading everything out loud at least once so here we are. Am I being unfair? Is the book any good? Read it and make up your own mind. I’m not your mom. Nobody.