Nicci’s Notes

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Hey Nicci, welcome back. As I read your essay, I thought, Why do people always say these things - things like, "I don't know how you do it!" or "I know you're busy, but..." I've heard this since our daughter Sarah was born 11 years ago. It's weird. These are tired tropes, at least to me. They don't help when you're buried and consumed and literally need to shut down for a time in order to recover your sanity and sense of self. By the way, I am glad you were able to do those things.

Hey, friend. It’s been…a bit. In fact, there’s about a 15% chance that you’ve never even received an email (or push notification, as I guess the kids are doing these days) from me. Yet someway, somehow, you’re here—waiting to hear from me, even if you don’t know it yet. A lot has happened since we last talked, as tends to be the case after six months of silence, and I don’t really know where or how to begin. I’m going to have to write my way into this one; bear with me.

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Hey there! I hope you’re doing well and that you’ve had a calm, peaceful, and productive last few months. I told you at the end of the summer that I’d be focusing on my news business into the fall, and now that the fall is coming to the close I wanted to pop in with a quick note to let you know how things are going. If you’ve emailed or texted me and I haven’t replied, just know that (a) my inbox and brain are both full and (b) I am trying to spend less time with my devices.

I don’t know the comment word limit, but I may test it. My story is exactly the same only completely different. I was in pain. But the pain was self-inflicted, which is to say that it likely came about from me being on testosterone. It’s possible that it would have happened anyway, that my suffering was a product of perimenopause (which I am here to declare loudly and openly that men suffer from).

When you’re born with a uterus, there are things no one tells you. We don’t talk much about uteruses in public, unless they’re behaving as intended—and even then, only a narrow scope of uterus talk is approved for polite conversation. Pregnancy? Yes, as long as you’re not annoying about it. Cramps and periods? No one wants to hear about that shit. Your hysterectomy? Maybe, but only because it means you won’t be complaining about your uterus problems anymore.

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Hello! A road trip (on purpose this time) over the long weekend left me a little discombobulated, and on-site work obligations last week meant I wasn’t able to sit down at my computer at all. So here’s a little makeup dose of EEE while I think through some things. (Don’t worry, you’ll get to hop on the thought train at the end. Buckle up.) I have a few book clubs coming up for When We Were Mothers and the opportunity to give a talk for a local organization.

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