Points in Case

Humbly doth I, a mere country-dweller from the Ohio River Valley recently wayfaring from Gate B12, submit this petition to you, Lord Craig, Earl of the Hertz Car Rental Counter, with a single modest and most unworthy query. When may I reach thy counter? I beseech thee, Lord Craig, that I do not appear impertinent, yet I confess confusion. This humble queue does not move toward thy noble counter.

I’ve had more health scares than anyone I know. The precancerous mole that thankfully washed off with soap and water. The debilitating headache I thought was a stroke until I saw the empty 44-ounce Slurpee cup. You, my dearest friends, have been there at every turn. It kills me to ask for help again, but I could be dead soon if I don’t. It’s only a splinter, says my doctor. Give it time to come out on its own. He’s afraid of severing a nerve or cutting a tendon. Like I would sue him over that.

From: Dr. Kendall—Healthy Dental Subject: SMILE RE: SMILE Hi Dr. Kendall and team, Wow, this is a beautiful email to wake up to on my birthday. To be honest I’m a bit shocked to learn you remembered, I know years have passed since I’ve been in. The animated e-card you included (a tooth with a birthday hat! Who thinks of these things?!) is bringing me a kind of joy I’ve long searched for.

Back at it again around the office water cooler, eh folks? Mondays, am I right? Yeah, I had a pretty low-key weekend myself. Just how I like it. Well, actually, I guess you could say I did one exciting thing: I won the Most Dangerous Game. You’ve never heard of it? That makes sense. No one has ever won The Most Dangerous Game. Except me. What’s The Most Dangerous Game? I’m happy to explain The Most Dangerous Game, because The Most Dangerous Game is not a winnable game. That’s what makes it so dangerous.

“Tanning gummies are chewable supplements that deliver plant pigments—carotenoids such as beta-carotene, astaxanthin, and lycopene—into your skin from the inside out.” —California Business Journal Dear Valued Customer, Thank you for being a monthly subscriber of Gummy Supplements, Inc.

I’m your local wizard and I wanted to share with you the exciting new developments in arcane deployment that will maximize the probability of a post-scarcity feudalism for peasants and Lords alike. Magic is poised to drive the largest paradigm shift in our lives since alchemy. I’m sure many of the more enlightened amongst you will be early adopters and may already be incorporating basic spells into your daily toil-flows. That’s great. We love spells.

Phil, We have Beth. Above all, no cops and no FBI. Tell NO ONE that she is missing if you want to see her again. For her safe return, you must raise a significant sum of money. Yes, we know you don’t have it and you’ve been living paycheck to paycheck, but we will instruct you on exactly what to do to get your life together: 1. Do not speak to anyone, including family. If someone asks, simply tell them that you and Beth had an argument and she is out of state with friends. 2.

Dear [Applicant_FirstName], Thank you for taking the time to apply for an internship with us. Your interest in our company means a great deal, especially from a Nobel laureate like yourself! We regret to inform you that the position has been filled by my nephew. While your CV, cover letter, and interview were formidable, we have decided to go with a candidate whose skill set is a closer match for the specific requirements of this role.

Look, Devin is a good kid. You might not think that based on the jiggle physics you are seeing on the two nuns in this first scene, but you have to admit he’s a wizard with this drone technology. When our previous intern interviewed Devin to be his replacement, Devin sent in the production you’re observing as a part of his portfolio to demonstrate his talents as a drone show programmer.

At GrainFed Group, philanthropy is paramount to our enterprise. Childhood hunger is our strategic focus for this year’s mandatory Day of Service, which will run from 10:00 A.M. to 3:00 P.M. We will deploy small teams to community schools which we have identified as food deficient. Some of you have voiced opinions stating that we could donate food or money. While we appreciate feedback from our tertiary tier colleagues, this is too on the nose with our industry stature as an agricultural powerhouse.