The Small Bow

The other morning, while I was under-rested and underwhelmed and standing in the kitchen, drinking coffee, I realized I felt an uneasy vulnerability I hadn’t experienced in several years. I was flummoxed: What must I do to feel like I’m back in my skin again? What must I do to feel like myself again? Wait — who AM I supposed to be? After almost a decade of sobriety, I still forget.

The Small Bow Podcast is a recovery show – part interview, part storytelling – hosted by A.J. Daulerio, and based on the recovery newsletter thesmallbow.com. A.J. created TSB after he got out of rehab and wanted to hear stories about sobriety, mental health, and spirituality that he couldn’t easily find on the internet. We talk about recovery from all kinds of things: car crashes, identity crises, drugs, alcohol, ego.

Current time: 0:00 / Total time: -59:41 Audio playback is not supported on your browser. Please upgrade. Joey McIntyre from New Kids on the Block tells us all the ways he's kept himself in check throughout his career and dazzles us with his grace and humility. If you like this kinda stuff, maybe you want to sign up to our newsletter.

These Sunday posts are mostly paywalled. But I don't want to exclude anyone, so if the cost is prohibitive or you wish to send TSB to someone you love, contact me. I'll happily pass along a free annual subscription to those who need it most. Onward. — AJD Last Saturday, my oldest son, Ozzy, age 7, had a friend over for a few hours to play PlayStation, eat pizza, and be squawking 7-year-olds.

Good morning! It’s the last Friday in March, the end of the year’s first quarter (Jesus!), so it’s the perfect time to recap some of the stories you may have missed. This is also the time to send in your April Check-Ins. We want to know how you’re living. Tell us what’s up with your recovery or anything else noteworthy. We want both the great and the gross.

Last week, a reader emailed me about my Sunday rundown, specifically the (“/5”) scoring system I use each week to assess my recovery. “Have you ever explained the weighting of the weekly sobriety rating before?” he asked. On Sunday, for example, I gave myself a 2/5 for my recovery last week. Funny grade considering so many good things happened, including my actual birthday last Tuesday. What profound absence and stress derailed the second half?

These Sunday posts are mostly paywalled. But I don't want to exclude anyone, so if the cost is prohibitive or you wish to send TSB to someone you love, contact me. I'll happily pass along a free annual subscription to those who need it most. The year 51. — AJD Last Tuesday was my 51st birthday. I did BJJ in the morning and was easily manhandled by the other guy attending the class. Then, I had therapy.

The pain of difference! It’s so acute — especially as experienced by a child. Not to say difference isn’t strength (it is). Not to say difference isn’t beautiful (it is). Not to say that difference isn’t, in any number of other situations, permutations, any number of other things, most of them merely facts to be navigated, accommodated, which is to say neutral. But to feel, as child, I am not like others. To worry that the not likeness will be not the reason but the excuse for punishment.

Paid subscribers fund the Small Bow. If you love what we do and want to help us grow, press this button. If the cost is prohibitive or you wish to send TSB to someone you love, contact me. I'll happily pass along a free annual subscription to those who need it most. Good morning. We’re very excited to have today’s Sober Oldster superstar, Laurie Woolever, answer the questionnaire.

These Sunday posts are mostly paywalled. But I don't want to exclude anyone, so if the cost is prohibitive or you wish to send TSB to someone you love, contact me. I'll happily pass along a free annual subscription to those who need it most. Off we go. — AJD I can recognize people who have been wrecked by some sort of public or private scandal because we share the same limp. That limp, of course, is plain old shame. I gravitate towards shame. It's cozy over there and relatable. Could you show me yours?