How Not To F*ck Up Your Face

well, just one, but it’s kinda big Welcome readers, old and new! Please tap that ❤️ above and then prepare yourself for one of the great mysteries of the internet: PPAP. 💐 💐 💐 Sometime HNTFUYF muse, L, lightheartedly scolded me last week about my review of two lip stains. “You were so ‘meh’ about them,” she said. “I want you to recommend something you really love.” L, you know what I love? The box of four Hermès 15 ml travel-size fragrances I buy a couple times a year.

Welcome readers, old and new! Please tap the ❤️ above to ensure you’re enrolled in the HNTFUYF Hall of Fame. Then, head here to ensure you’re registered to vote! 💓 💓 💓 I want to thank you all, Dear Readers, for posting photos of yourselves last week in HNTFUYF’s inaugural chat (still live). What joy to see your faces.

plus, a hyaluronic acid brief Welcome readers, old and new! Please tap that ❤️ above and then read about one of the best ways to stay sharp even as your edges are rounding out. I started thinking about chaos several weeks ago after I found an unpleasant rash staring back at me in the mirror—or wait, was it because of the unusual concentration of storms brewing in the South Pacific? Or the flurry of news about a serial killer called AI? Or threats to voting rights?

Welcome readers, old and new! Please pump that ❤️ above to help increase HNTFUYF’s circulation. Then, if you’re a fan of eyelash extensions, take a peek at some research you won’t want to miss. Of all kinds of mysteries, I believe medical mysteries might be the most unpleasant. Especially when one manifests on your face. More specifically, on my face. During an otherwise blissful week in Maine recently, I noticed a strange feeling on the skin near my upper lip.

Welcome readers, old and new! Please hit the ❤️ above before you take a moment to remember one of the most remarkable women of our time. This week’s post comes to you from the verdant hills and valleys of midcoast Maine, where HNTFUYF’s beloved Maine correspondent—the linchpin for all kinds of delightful affairs—brought together the HNTFUYF staff for a mirthful evening and an impromptu photo shoot.

Welcome readers, old and new! Please tap the ❤️ above before watching this thrillingly clear video about how misinformation snowballs in the beauty market. Scrolling on Instagram the other day, I clicked on an ad from Bandolier, as I might be in the market for a new iPhone case. Up popped a photo (below) from their latest collaboration, prompting intense bewilderment. What’s next, a feedbag?

Welcome readers, old and new! Please tap that ❤️ before you read a smart take on the state of beauty marketing to kids. 😴 😴 😴 As a way to wind down before bed, I often watch old videos of the 1950s game show What’s My Line? The ubiquitous, white glove gentility warms me against the chill of the current zeitgeist as I consider, alone in the dark, all the things that could possibly go wrong now, tomorrow, and in the gaping, unknown Next.

Welcome readers, old and new! Please tap that ❤️ above before you read about what may be a previously undiscovered women-led culture. Though I do look forward to the fall (and my return to Tokyo), slipping toward summer’s end always makes me melancholic. It’s anticipatory grief, I think; I’m already missing the steamed sweet corn, the colander brimming with juicy black plums, and the late, rosy sunsets that lend the buildings out my window an aura of shimmering gold.

Welcome readers, old and new! Please tap that ❤️ before you peep into the life of a few sexy spiders. In honor of… okay, more sexy news! July 31 was National Orgasm Day, which feels like a good enough reason to offer all HNTFUYF-ers an extra 20% off the current sale price of the Laura Geller Baked Starter Kit.

Welcome readers, old and new! Please tap that ❤️ above before checking out the unlikely people keeping Taiwan’s marine harvest tradition from drowning. 🥸 😲 😀 A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned a study that debunks the notion that long-married couples grow to look more alike, but seems to confirm that we choose mates who generally look like us. My friend Bernhard Fink, an evolutionary anthropologist, had more to add.