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Articles by Andrew Smiler
19 Ways We Talk About Relationships That Dehumanize Women
By Andrew Smiler Like most American boys, I grew up knowing dozens of terms that objectify women’s bodies and diminish women by reducing them to just a single part. It wasn’t until my 20s that someone taught me, and I started to understand, just how dehumanizing and common all this was. Jean Kilbourne’s Killing Us Softly videos have been particularly eye-opening. In thinking about this weekend’s tragedy — and how normal and perverse is the notion of “this weekend’s tragedy”?
Some Campbell County residents are seeking the removal of books from the public library
Hugh Cook / Wyoming Public Radio Signs in support and in opposition to the library's decision to include books aimed at children and teens about LGBTQ issues, sex education, and gender identity are seen in the county commissioners chambers during a Campbell County Library Board meeting in October 2021.
Chivalry and Equality Went On A Date. Guess Who Paid?
Andrew Smiler wonders why changes in gender roles have had a minimal impact on dating. — Gender roles have changed dramatically over the last forty years or so. In 1970, men outnumbered women on college campuses two to one; today, women outnumber men by a several percentage points. Women have moved into a variety of jobs that weren’t open to them. They’re members of every branch of the US Military and can now participate in combat.
19 Terms for Relationships that Dehumanize Women
Photo by Horia Varlan/flickr used under Creative Commons 2.0 license By Andrew Smiler Like most American boys, I grew up knowing dozens of terms that objectify women’s bodies and diminish women by reducing them to just a single part. It wasn’t until my 20s that someone taught me, and I started to understand, just how dehumanizing and common all this was. Jean Kilbourne’s Killing Us Softly videos have been particularly eye-opening.
19 Terms for Relationships that Dehumanize Women
Words say a lot about how we think. These 19 expressions say we don’t value women in relationships. Photo by Horia Varlan/flickr used under Creative Commons 2.0 license By Andrew Smiler Like most American boys, I grew up knowing dozens of terms that objectify women’s bodies and diminish women by reducing them to just a single part. It wasn’t until my 20s that someone taught me, and I started to understand, just how dehumanizing and common all this was.
Masculinity Is Dead. Long Live Masculinity.
RSVP for Intersectionality Calls Andrew Smiler says that reports of manhood’s demise are premature. It’s as healthy, dynamic, and contradictory as ever. —– NYMag’s Ann Friedman recently asked “what does manhood mean in 2013?” It’s not as though she was clueless; in fact, she had too many clues. She’d recently been told: guys are fairly simple. This from Bryan Goldberg, founder of Bleacher Report and some other websites, to New Yorker writer Lizzie Widdicombe.
19 Terms for Relationships That Dehumanize Women
— — Like most American boys, I grew up knowing dozens of terms that objectify women’s bodies and diminish women by reducing them to just a single part. It wasn’t until my 20s that someone taught me, and I started to understand, just how dehumanizing and common all this was. Jean Kilbourne’s Killing Us Softly videos have been particularly eye-opening. In thinking about this weekend’s tragedy—and how normal and perverse is the notion of “this weekend’s tragedy”?
How to Make a Mass Shooter
Dr. Andrew Smiler lists some of the factors that mass shooters have in common. — Another week, another mass killing. Or two, or three. Here in the US, we’ve had shootings in churches, movie theatres, at all types of schools (elementary, high school, colleges), and even military bases. Back in the 1980s, it was disgruntled employees in post offices and we called it “going postal.” As the President pointed out, mass shootings have become common and mundane. Don’t like ads?
Male Promiscuity by the Numbers: 25-15-5 -
Guys are promiscuous. They want sex, not relationships, and they’re only looking to score. At the cultural level, and for many people in the culture, that’s what we believe. “Everyone” believes guys just want sex. But is it really true? But is it really true? Many of the guys I know don’t fit that profile. Most of the guys in my fraternity didn’t fit that profile, even though we fit other stereotypes about fraternities quite well. (Don’t walk barefoot in the house. Trust me.
Men Are Changing: Let's Understand Why
Cultures change over time, and so do the expectations and the behavior of the people in those cultures. Approximately 100 years ago, most American men worked for themselves or in small businesses, more people lived in rural areas than urban areas (and there were no suburbs), the median age of first marriage for men was 25, and mandatory public education through grade 6 was new.
Why Are Most Violent People Male?
Andrew Smiler considers several reasons why violent people are more likely to be male than female. — — RSVP for Weekly Calls on The Disposability of Men — Ray Rice cold-cocked his then-fiancée and now wife. It’s the latest episode of male violence in the news. Calling it “male violence” isn’t quite right because most men are not violent. Labeling it that way makes some guys defensive and prompts them to say things like #notallmen.
Boys and Men Just Want Sex. Right? -
Many people believe that teenage boys and young men just want sex. According to stereotype, guys aren’t interested in relationships and they’re not particularly picky about who, when, or where they have sex. You’ve certainly seen the movie. One guy—or a guy and his friends—desperately try to get laid. After a series of comic mishaps, the guy (usually) succeeds. “Porky’s” and “American Pie” are the genre’s “classics,” but Hollywood cranks several of these movies each year.
Male Sexuality is Threatening Because We Don't Understand It -
American culture sees male sexuality as easily aroused, barely controlled, and able to overwhelm rational thought, believes the little head does the thinking for the big head, and has a hard time distinguishing normal male sexuality from the abuse of power known as rape or sexual assault. As a result, it’s easy to believe that any guy could be a rapist or child molester.
The Power of Men’s Love -
This year we found out Michael Sam is gay. Big deal. As Dallas sportscaster Dale Hansen pointed out, if the NFL and its product isn’t harmed by having men who abuse their female partners, men who use illegal drugs, and men who are accused of murder—and that’s just the Cowboys—how could a guy who is openly gay be a problem? I think the real issue here is that men’s love scares us. It’s incredibly powerful and as a culture, we don’t know how to respond to that power.
Yes, Men’s Studies. You Got a Problem with That? -
A few weeks ago, the New York Times pondered “A Master’s Degree in…Masculinity?” The headline itself suggests the NYT is not convinced this is a good idea. Placing the article, written by Jessica Bennett, in the Fashion & Style section implies this might be a passing fad, not an ongoing scholarly pursuit. Readers answered the question, offering more than 750 responses so quickly that the paper reprinted some of them on Monday.
Andrew Smiler: Raising sexually responsible boys
It’s been a newsworthy year for male sexuality. Donald Trump’s claims that he can grab women by their genitals are most recent, but we’ve also had sexual abuse allegations against a variety of people, ranging from Bill Cosby (new) to Bill Clinton (revisited).
Who Will Be the “Poster Child” for Sexually Abused Boys?
[Trigger warning: the article is not graphic] Several famous women have come forward to say they were sexually abused, but very few famous men have done so (see lists one and two). For women like Eve Ensler, Tina Turner, and Maya Angelou, issues related to their abuse have been central to their work or their public persona, at least for some period of time.
5 Things To Do Instead of Hitting Your Partner
Hitting your partner is a choice, but it’s not the only choice. Here are 5 other options. Discussion of Domestic Violence, also known as Interpersonal Violence, has been front and center over the last few weeks, courtesy of NFL Players Ray Rice, Greg Hardy, and Jonathon Dwyer, and now District Court Judge Mark Fuller. Some people have argued that Rice was justified in striking his partner because she may have spit on him and might have been approaching him to take a swing of her own.
6 Ways Jokes about Violence Against Men Harms Male Victims -
There’s a meme going around these days about a man who buys his wife a mood ring so he’ll know how she’s feeling. When she’s in a good mood, it turns green. When she’s in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. That’s got to be the most literal punch-line I’ve ever seen. Maybe you find that funny. Perhaps you caught Bill Maher’s commentary on a recent study revealing that boys and men are sexually abused at much higher rates than Americans expected.
Men Defining Masculinity: It's Not About Sex
In surveys of nearly 40,000 men in 13 countries, character, self-determination, and work topped the list of what defines masculinity. Imagine being asked to complete a survey in which you were asked to rate 13 characteristics commonly associated with masculinity. What would move to the top of your list and what would go to the bottom? Is being honorable more important than having success with women? Making a lot of money? In a pair of studies, research teams did just that.
How To Size A Condom
Andrew Smiler shares some simple tips about how to find your correct condom size. —- There’s an old joke that all guys wear large-sized condoms. Not sure? Ask any guy you know if he wears a small, medium, or large, and he’ll tell you he wears an extra-large. Author Michael Gurian says most boys have questions about penis size during adolescence but rarely ask them. Unlike girls’ concerns about breast size, there’s no easy way for a guy to know where his erection ranks in comparison to his peers.
Men and Mass Shootings
Andrew Smiler believes that if we are to change the odds on these rampage killings, we might want to start by changing the messages we send to men and boys. On Friday morning, we woke up to the horrible news that a gunman had opened fire during a midnight movie in a Colorado theatre. By mid-morning, a suspect had been named: James Holmes. A man. He joins a dubious list: Jared Lee Loughner (Rep.
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