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Articles by Ariadne Schulz
Justice for Carlotta
Regardless of what you may think of me, I'm not obsessed with Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera, but I do have to admit I've been studying operatic vocal technique since I was about 11 years old, and that is also roughly how old I was when I saw the musical. It was my gateway drug into opera, and the first piece I studied and learned to perform was "Think of Me." So, I may not be obsessed ( articles on Erik's likely pathology notwithstanding), but it was formative.
Protein Shakes Won't Fix Ugly, Bro
Sometimes I read other Medium articles, and even comment on them. But I don't do it as often as I might, because authors can't control their readers. I get some rather silly comments on my own stories from time to time. In a way, that's kind of nice - comments boost engagement no matter what - but sometimes rather than just letting the negative comments boost you in the algorithm you just have to overtly monetise that attention by creating a whole new article on it.
Equity, Equality, and why Women Choose the Bear
According to men, #NotAllMen. Great. Lovely. I enjoy knowing that somewhere out there there is at least one man who is not 100% awful. He’s probably my man because my man is great. But if my man is the only man out of all men who isn’t a crazy serial rapist and murderer that still means that #NotAllMen is true. So … uh … yeah there’s still all those other men to be concerned about.
Women are LIARS!
A story dripping in sarcasm and *gasp* feminism A few weeks ago I was on Facebook which — yes, I know, red flag, but one of my besties only communicates via Facebook messenger so meet me where I’m at — and I saw a post of a before and after of some guy. Glancing at it I was confused because to me, he looked a lot better in the before picture. So, stupidly, I investigated further.
These Are Not the Men You’re Looking For
It’s all about the illusion of control In the twelfth century one Robert de Blois set about to write manuals on etiquette for noble men and noble women. In his Chastoiement des dames he notes, If she speaks, someone says it is too much. If she is silent, she is reproached for not knowing how to greet people. If she is friendly and courteous, someone pretends it is for love. If on the other hand, she does not put on a bright face, she passes for being too proud. That is, women cannot win.
Profiting off of BS
My new business plan. Allegedly. Ariadne Schulz · Follow 9 min read · -- Pictured: A Nice Guy. (also, my apologies to the model who I am depicting in this manner. I’m sure he’s actually lovely.) (Photo by Bermix Studio on Unsplash) Being femme is historically a lot. And it remains a lot. But I noticed all y’all love when I monetize men being misogynists, so we’re going to do that again today.
Tradwives: The Women who “Escape” Capitalism through Never Ending Unpaid Labour
Tradwives: The Women who “Escape” Capitalism through Never Ending Unpaid Labour This is yet another story about Ballerina Farm. Well, actually it’s not. It’s about tradwives in general, it’s just that the Neelemans have intentionally or unintentionally subjected themselves to scrutiny. I’ve been trying to tackle this phenomenon for probably about four years now, but based on my published articles you would never know it. There’s just too much to cover in one article.
Wednesday's Child is Full of Neurodiversity
By Ariadne Schulz Also: Personality Disorders An average autistic evening. (Wednesday©Netflix) Massive spoilers for Wednesday. Do not read this until you've watched the first season. Don't do it. Go forth and watch Wednesday. I will still be here when you get back. Disclaimer: I am not a psychiatrist; I am a palaeopathologist. I have no authority to diagnose living patients with anything at all and I'm just ...
Rebecca is a Psychopath
And she doesn’t need to be anything more Spoilers for both Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier and Rebecca’s Tale by Sally Beauman If you’re a massive Ari fan — and really, why wouldn’t you be unless you actually are me — you probably already know that I absolutely adore the novel Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. I wrote a piece here ages ago arguing that it’s not actually horror or suspense and certainly isn’t romance, but is in fact a coming of age story. I know. Big reveal there.
Women’s Rights Are Human Rights
And other aspirational poetry I haven’t written here in a long time. Part of it is because I put my money where my mouth is and have been volunteering and working in whatever capacity I can to make the world a better place. Yay me. Part of it is because I’m working on another article on racism, and it’s emotionally taxing and hard.
I Stood Up for Victims of Harassment
Let me tell you what I think of everyone else on that rush hour train I currently live in London and have done so since just before Brexit. I wore a safety pin on my jacket when attacks on non-white Londoners rose in the wake of Brexit. I did this not because as an American I was at risk, but because as a white person I wasn’t. London was not the worst part of Britain for racist and xenophobic attacks, but it is a city, and it takes all kinds.
If You’re Truly Pro-Life, You’re Pro-Abortion
Unless you think women aren’t people Photo by Denys Nevozhai on Unsplash Trigger Warning for discussions of abortion and terminal disease. Additional Note: There are men who have periods and who can get pregnant.
Okay, Let’s Talk About Cancel Culture
Because we’re not all talking about the same thing Just in general, I think we need to define a few terms and have a little conversation about what I’m going to call cultural colonialism. Well, maybe not define terms because all of this is based on individual perspective, but I feel like I need to be totally clear on what it is we’re actually talking about. We’re not dealing with anything new. “Cancel Culture” itself is not new, and the conservative reaction to it is also … not new.
Why Do Argonians Have Boobs?
And other important questions If you know me, you probably know that I spend far too much time playing Elder Scrolls Online. Sometimes I spend far too much time playing Assassin’s Creed and other times I spend far too much time playing The Sims. And don’t get me wrong, there are major issues with Assassin’s Creed and definitely The Sims. For instance, I estimate Ezio Auditore’s weight and height at around 190 to 200 lbs and around 6 feet. He’s a hefty dude.
Solitaire: The Eldritch Horror
A meditation on lonely card games and stoic philosophy Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash Did you know that some 80% of solitaire games are winnable? I certainly didn’t. But evidently that is factual. Go ahead. Look it up. I’ll be here. Possibly playing solitaire.
Voting Is the Spinal Column of Democracy
And voter suppression is degenerative joint disease If you’ve ever had the chance to examine a human vertebral column up close and personal you’ve probably been stunned by its architectural stability, its flexibility, its facility in protecting the spinal cord, and its sheer aesthetic beauty.
5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Read Listicles
Especially not this one Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash Do you want to be a millennial? WELL, DO YOU?? I’m a millennial and I rue the day. Which day you ask? EVERY DAY. Here I am wearing my skinny jeans with a side part eating avocado toast out of my rented apartment and trying to engage in adulting while being lazy and thinking only of Disney while I write a listicle for you. DO YOU WANT TO BE LIKE ME?? No, you don’t. You want to be a boomer or a zoomer.
‘Interlude in Prague’ Is a Frustrating Watch for Mozart Stans
Why I … hate it? Do I even hate it? I dunno. (Interlude in Prague movie still) One of the big perks about working with a huge institution of a museum is every now and again they give you rather weird gifts. On the 25th of May, 2017, I struggled into an evening gown in the bathroom of my office, pulled my hair into a precarious up-do, and headed out into the streets of London to walk to the premiere of Interlude in Prague.
I Have to Forgive You
I Have No Choice Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash I work behind the circulation desk at a small suburban library. While most of our patrons are lovely, considerate people. some of them are anything but. While attempting to help the public, I’ve been yelled at, cursed at and called every rude name in the book.
What Happens in an American Election
Firstly, the Federal government does not control voting. States do. And specifically the Secretary of State for each state oversees it. So well prior to an election the state legislatures will pass laws for exactly how they intend to allow voting, count ballots, and — in Presidential elections — assign electors. This legislation must be passed and signed into law … about a month prior to the election itself.
QAnon: Donald Trump’s Personal Conspiracists
On December 4, 2016, the then 29-year-old North Carolinian Edgar Maddison Welch drove from Salisbury, NC to Washington DC and opened fire with a military-style assault rifle inside the Comet Ping Pong restaurant. His rationale was that he had heard online that the restaurant was a known front for a child-trafficking and sex abuse ring lead by Hillary Clinton and that children were being held in the restaurant’s basement.
Well Actually, You’re Not Funny
A few years back in the before-times my partner and I visited New York City. We both had friends there and neither of us had ever been so taking advantage of a business trip my partner extended his stay and I flew out to meet him. We did all the touristy things and the first day my high school friend stopped by our hotel so he and I could grab New York bagels together before he headed off to work. It was awesome.
Love yourself
Not for someone else’s love or for self-improvement. Just love yourself. My mother always described herself as fat. And she did so in a self-derogatory manner. I hated it. To me, my mom has always been the pinnacle of beauty. I acknowledge that this is because I love her and she was probably the best mom who ever lived (sorry, all other moms and future me, but you’ve got some big shoes to fill). But mom was always in a fight against her size. And it was a fight she could never ever win.
Yes, You SHOULD Believe Women
You should not believe men who try to control our narratives “The Jury” Norman Rockwell, 1959 Sexual harassment and rape culture are so entangled in American culture that you should just assume that every American woman you’ve met is a sexual assault survivor or has experienced sexual harassment. And to the question forming in your mind. Yes, that includes me.
Karens and Boomers and Bros, Oh My!
Karens and Boomers and Bros! Oh My! Pictured: Good intentions. (Copyright 2016 Cynthia Lawing Salvia) If you’ve read my other stuff you might be wondering why someone who was amused/angry at being called a “wine mom” might be writing this piece. Well, I’m actually not all that bent out of shape about that one mad white guy calling me that because he was trying to imply that everything else about me is worthless and we both know he wouldn’t have called me the thing if that were true.
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